OATH Back to Business 2021

Back to Business Part One

June 1st, 2021

The Citadel in Toronto, Ontario

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“Painless” by Fozzy blares throughout The Citadel as the crowd goes absolutely bonkers. OATH is back, baby! The cameras pan to the ring where we can see Crybaby soaking in the cheers of the crowd, before saying the following.

CRYBABY: Ladies and Gentlemen… please join me in welcoming the new Commissioner of OATH! The cameras pan to the stage, no music, nothing… the crowds cheers die down as they look around at each other, confused. RUN THEM JEWELS FAST, RUN THEM, RUN THEM JEWELS FAST

RUN THEM, RUN THEM, R-RUN THEM, R-RUN THEM, RUN THEM, FUCK THE SLO MO

As the song starts up the lights in the arena pulse to the bass of the song, as the bass drops, Kasey walks out through the curtain with a lit cigarette in his mouth, before holding his arms out wide as the boos just raaaaain down on him. They are absolutely deserved, no word of a lie. Kash continues to stroll down to the ring and flips off any fan that comes close to touching him. He slides under the ring and takes the microphone from Crybaby, shooing her out of the ring.

KASH: SURPRISE, SURPRISE, MUTHAFUCKERS!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

Kash just smirks, soaking the boo’s in.

KASH: That’s right, bitchessss… I now have all the fucking power in this company! I decide what the fuck happens in these parts now! Now… the major question everyone is asking. ‘But Kasey, how did you get into power?’

Kash smirks as he rubs his chin.

KASH: It’s simple. Oscar Barlow appeared to have more power than he was letting on… and when I found that out… I knew what had to be done, and after a couple drinks this motherfucker would do anything I asked… and I was only keen on one thing… and one thing only. SO! I managed to get the power that, realistically, I earned when I was carrying Livewire on my fucking back the entire time I was champion. This is just another L in the long list of L’s that the Barlow family has taken. So this is a message to anyone of you motherfuckers in the back. I’m the king round these parts now. Don’t get that shit twisted… and onto the future of OATH. You may notice we've got a couple of new faces around here... especially on the commentary table. That's because, well... let's just say certain people didn't like the idea of coming to work for me today, so we have some, temporary, replacements. But moving on from that, of fuckin’ course I’m keeping this shit around. I ain’t looking to ditch this company that gave me a home, no matter how much any of you guys hate me.

Kash looks around at the fans in the arena

KASH: But you’ll all grow to love me, Cause I am the guy that’s bringing back your favourite fed, afterall. NOW! Enjoy this fuckin show, and welcome… to OATH: BACK TO BUSINESS!

“FUCK!”

The loud exclamation is heard before we see Minoru Tanahashi standing besides Kendrick Bingham in the interview area. Minoru is clad in his pirate king gear, all smiles.

MINORU: Sorry there folks, just needed a little tension breaker. It’s a big big night for OATH Pro Wrestling. New boss, new challengers, and definitely new tag team champions. That’s right, the SUPER KAWAII THUNDER LIGER SQUADRON is no more and with that we relinquished the tag team titles. I might still have a bit of the imprint from the one I was hit with, but that is not what tonight is about.

BINGHAM: Man, I had a whole introduction for you and was gonna lead to that.

MINORU: Sorry about that buddy, go to the next question.

Kendrick pulls out some index cards, tosses one, then another, then a third. He then nods and looks ready.

BINGHAM: Sorry, it’s been a bit. As you said, you and your former partner Super Tiger relinquished the belts and we will see new champions, but what can we expect to see from Minoru Tanahashi? Before you and the Tiger teamed up, you were struggling a little bit.

MINORU: Yea and before that I was the first ever Livewire champion, took FM Young to the absolute limit in our Tabula Rasa title match, took that bastard Ojima to the limit and oh yea I did have a victory over his little group in a six man tag match. There was a rough patch, but I’m putting that behind me. Tonight is a new beginning for me here in OATH. No tag partner, but there’s also no people trying to destroy me. Well at least none that I know of.

Minoru shrugs, raises his hands and gives a sort of playful teasing “bring it on” gesture.

BINGHAM: New beginning, well winning the Skeleton Key would certainly help with that. An opportunity to challenge for any title in OATH.

MINORU: It certainly would, and that’s why I am damn excited for tonight. Ultimate X match, with an interesting group of competitors. Some I know quite well, some I kind of know, some by reputation only, and others I don’t know much about. I do know there’s quite a few big guys in this match. Pierce, AJ, the guy with the really dumb name. Their power could be an issue, but I question how good they’re gonna be at climbing and getting across those cables.

BINGHAM: So you’re saying you have an advantage over them?

Minoru looks at Kendrick, then chuckles as he shakes his head and wags his finger at Kendrick.

MINORU: Just an observation. Much like me observing that the other two people in this match are on the smaller side and will likely use that speed to not only attack, but maybe get up on those cables and work their way across. Of course that could leave them open to getting pulled down and slammed down into the mat.

BINGHAM: So you’re saying they’re at a disadvantage.

Minoru chuckles again, shaking his head once more.

MINORU: Come on now Kendrick, don’t start acting like that hacky bitch partner of yours. Once again it was a simple observation. I will say that if I were a betting man, wait wait I am a betting man and you know what I did? I placed a very large bet on myself winning this damn match? Why? Because I have the perfect combination of skills. AJ, Pierce, Weird name, Ollie, Matsuda, they’re all good wrestlers and the skills they possess are impressive, but in this match, in this environment, you have to be able to climb up to the cables, speed, agility, dexterity, Ollie, Matsuda, AJ is pretty agile, slower than me though, and certainly doesn’t have my same level of feel. Crossing those cables, that’s going to take some strength. You’re going to have to hold your weight up and move across. Lighter weight, less to carry, but maybe not as strong. AJ, Pierce and Weird name are strong, but all of them have a decent amount of weight they gotta move.

BINGHAM: I see your point. On paper you should probably be the favorite in this match.

MINORU: Absolutely. However, as the saying goes, this match ain’t happening on paper. I have to go out there and prove that I deserve to be seen as the favorite and to be the next holder of The Skeleton Key. So I am gonna go handle my shit Kenny. I’ll see you at the after party, right?

BINGHAM: UHM yea sure.

Kendrick nods, then fist bumps Tanahashi before he heads off and we fade to black.

As “Missile” by Dorothy starts playing, Jenna Sharpe struts out and pauses for a moment at the top of the ramp, looking out over the fans as Crybaby makes her introduction. CRYBABY: Introducing first, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada… THE CANADIAN WILDCAT… JENNA… SHARPE! Jenna makes her way down to the ring, clearly focused on getting the win here tonight, but the fact she doesn’t know who is going to answer the open challenge is clearly weighing on her. She climbs into the ring and poses for the crowd, who cheers for her, before going to a corner, and as Jenna waits for her opponent a hush falls over the crowd. Suddenly, the hypnotic and Satanic intro to "Mercury" by Ghostemane begins playing as the house lights cut to black. After the intro plays out and the heavy bass drops, the lights flash on violently and we see SWITCHBLXDE standing in a Christ-like pose holding a microphone. He stands there for a moment before dropping his arms and falling to a knee where he looks towards Jenna.

SWITCHBLXDE: It’s the Resurrection of THA GOD!

SWITCHBLXDE rolls his eyes to the back of his head before pulling his bottom lip down with his fingers to show his silver smile. His tongue flickers through his grin as he eyes Jenna.

SWITCHBLXDE: And it’s the crucifixion of Jenna Sharpe.

Jenna looks confused as SWITCHBLXDE continues.

SWITCHBLXDE: It’s been a while Jenna. You’ve been living your life while you left the rest of us to ponder suicide. You wanna’ know why you’re the last of the Sharpes, Jenna?

He pauses for a moment, letting Jenna ponder the question before striking with the answer.

SWITCHBLXDE: Because the Sharpe Clan is nothin’ but a bunch of egotistical, abusive, backstabbing, wannabe cunts who get off on tearing down anybody better than them. Fuck a Sharpe. Fuck Canada. And fuck you Jenna!

Helena Handbasket: Wow, someone lit a fire under Swapmeet tonight. I’m looking forward to this match this kind of animosity always makes it fun.

Bellamy Parteabon: SWITCHBLXDE, Trust me, I’m French we excel at putting X’s were they shouldn’t be. Nevertheless you’re right, the Sharpes once widely considered both the favorite and most hated of OATH Pro have fallen into a family feud during our Hiatus it seems.

Helena Handbasket: You think Burt’s here? I want the dude’s autograph.

Bellamy Parteabon: I will hose you both with Lysol, I swear.

SWITCHBLXDE drops the mic and slides in the ring, spewing more trash talk towards Jenna as the bell rings. Jenna just comes straight out of the gate here, throwing everything and anything at Switch in the hopes of something landing, eventually pushing him back into a corner and the referee is forced to break it up as she was dangerously close to breaking the five count, not that it seemed to phase Jenna, she just wants to tear Switch’s tongue out.

Helena Handbasket: Told you it was gonna be fun. The Hellcat still has her claws, whatever happened between them over break. She’s about ready to tear Limp Marley’s tongue out.

Bellamy Parteabon: Ugh. It’s not that I’m not one of those gore loving psychopaths, it’s that I’d rather not be drenched in blood just about now. This is a new coat.

Helena Handbasket: I’m not sure she’s taking suggestions about it.

Bellamy Parteabon: Pity that, Switch better work out how to defend himself with all that fire and quickly.

As the ref pulls Jenna back, Switch pops up and quickly gets her with a thumb to the eye, which sends her stumbling back, the referee was obviously oblivious to this, because… well… all referees are. Switch quickly gets the match back in his favor as he lays into Jenna with a wild barrage of forearms, punches and headbutts, eventually planting her with a spinning suplex for a two count.

Helena Handbasket: Oh look, he figured it out! I take it back, Mr. What I Got over there isn’t so bad at this whole combat sports thing.

Bellamy Parteabon: And Jenna’s on the other foot, so to speak. The best news is no tongue holes spraying blood everywhere. Jenna needs to get back in this match up because her OATH career hasn’t had the best track record, meanwhile Switch’s has been undoubtedly better. This could be a big win for the Wildcat.

Helena Handbasket: I doubt this going to be the last time they face each other at all. These sorts of things have a habit of turning ugly and given that this one is ugly to start with?

Bellamy Parteabon: Right, no doubt about it. Currently, their fairly evenly matched, evenly paced. I’m just thinking about getting to see this match with the chains off of them. I’ll bring a raincoat to that one.

Helena Handbasket: Already thinking ahead, let’s just see who wins this one and who doesn’t have a leg to stand on after.

Switch begins to pull Jenna to her feet by her hair, to which the referee tries to stop him, giving him the five count, but he lets go of the hair at four, making sure this match continues. As he picks her up she goes to swing at him but instead Switch reverses it into a Snap Dragon Suplex for another two count, which just seems to piss him off even more.

Helena Handbasket: Can I triple take something back? Undead Sabbath just can’t seem to put his sister, cousin? Away for the three count. Sorry, I’m just sitting here resisting the obvious jokes.

Bellamy Parteabon: Cousin, their cousins, Jenna is Mikey of Runaway’s sister I do believe, I’d correct myself but I can’t be fucked to stop watching the match to look it up. Beside the point, Jenna’s just showing her resilience which is if you believe them, a trait Sharpe’s have in spades.

Helena Handbasket: One of them better figure out something, Dr. Mumble Rapper has been in control for too long. Jenna’s using up a lot of those wildcat lives I feel.

Bellamy Parteabon: I’d like to see her win. She’s feisty and has a good chance of getting past SwitchBlxde to great things here in OATH. Of course, if he won I wouldn’t be disappointed either, like I said for sure we’re seeing this family feud play out in real time.

While Jenna tries to pull herself to her feet, Switch just calls out to her saying “The Sharpe Clan ain’t nothin’ but a bunch of pussies!” Which just seems to light a fire inside of Jenna, causing her to just start laying into switch with forearm after forearm after forearm, causing him to start bleeding from his mouth, as he tries to collect himself Jenna nails him with a clothesline, sending him almost tumbling out of the ring, but he catches himself and rebounds back in, right into a Discus Clothesline from Jenna for a close two count!

Helena Handbasket: Wooo, that was a close one. I’d say Jenna’s gotta be wondering what else has to do, but these know each other so well that she probably knows and is just looking for the opportunity.

Bellamy Parteabon: She has it now, if only she can capitalize which it must be said has been something that Jenna is historically bad at. Losing titles, failing title shots, and now Switch is starting a mess between them because she’s got a chance to start again and change that.

Helena Handbasket: Enmin-Enemy has a point though, they showed up all togetherness and having each other's backs and before long they both hit career roadblocks and couldn’t be assed to deal with each other. Jenna basically stole Burt from the Boys, and used him to further her career.

Bellamy Parteabon: Ask me no questions, I shall tell you no lies. I can’t speak to what happened with all that. Whatever’s driven them apart is driving them together right now, in the punch the living shit out of each other for other people’s entertainment kind of way and it is an exciting match.

Jenna instantly gets back on the offence, focusing on one of the arms of Switch and looking for the ‘Boo, Who Cares (Fujiwara Armbar)’, Switch tries his best to fight out of it but all he can do is delay the inevitable as Jenna eventually locks it in! Switch is scrambling to try and get to the ropes!

Helena Handbasket: There it is! Jenna’s submission finisher! And Switch-Diddy with nowhere to go!

Bellamy Parteabon: Please give up, that way I can have a smoke break.

Helena Handbasket: I thought you said you were enjoying the match, now you just want it to be over?

Bellamy Parteabon: Two pack a day habits are bad for you kids. I said I was decidedly ambivalent toward who won this round, and Jenna’s got it locked up. She’s shown superior skill here so as far as I’m concerned she deserves it.

Switch crawls closer and closer, eventually managing to get a middle finger on the rope, kinda symbolic, that. Jenna is frustrated, which is understandable. But Switch manages to roll to the outside to get himself some breathing room. Jenna goes out onto the apron but, little did she know, it was exactly where he wanted her to go, sweeping her leg out from under her, causing her to land back first on the apron, sliding between the ring and the apron as Switch throws the apron over her head and starts laying into her again with a wild combination of forearms and chops, getting her back into the ring before the referee threw the match out.

Helena Handbasket: I think Snoop-Blade just showed the superior heart in this situation. He definitely wants this win. Whatever this is unfolding between the once Golden outcast Family of OATH. No doubt the former run away has a point to prove.

Bellamy Parteabon: The former runaway? Your quips are slipping, dear. I agree with you though. He even did the smart thing of creating distance and regrouping. Giving him the advantage when she chased.

Helena Handbasket: I only had so many of those preloaded and you made me take his side.

Bellamy Parteabon: Nonsense.

Switch is calling for Jenna to get up, looking to hit her with the ‘Mainliner (Feint Big Boot followed up by Spinning Back Elbow)’, but as he goes for it, Jenna is able to hit him with the ‘Stand and Deliver (Atomic Drop followed by basement dropkick)’! Jenna hooks the leg and gets another close two count!

Helena Handbasket: Holyshit! GODLIKE, RAMPAGE….Other such videogame screeches. She hit her finisher and couldn’t put him away but fuck me sideways the sportsmanship and talent in that reversal. Ok, you win on the “superior skill” thing.

Bellamy Parteabon: I told you so, heart only gets you so far in these kinds of things. After that you need in the words of great lady Aretha Franklin Skills to pay the bills.

Helena Handbasket: I’mma just give you that, and then hope we never have to hear you sing. Let’s see if Jenna can put this one away with those skills.

Jenna, with fire in her eyes, picks Switch up by his dreads, looking to lock in the Look Sharpe (Flying Triangle Choke), but Switch is able to counter it into a Snap Powerbomb! Dragging Jenna towards the corner and climbs the turnbuckles, looking to finish this match off with the Dumpster Dive, as he gets to the top he leaps! Nailing Jenna with the Dumpster Dive (Diving Senton Bomb) and hooks the leg! 1… 2… 3!

Bellamy Parteabon: NO!

Helena Handbasket: YES! And there we see that Switchblade never needed the "Sharpe Clan" and now, without them, he's a better man for it. "Mercury" by Ghostemane blasts out of the arena speakers as SWTCHBLXDE looks down at Jenna, screaming at her. SWITCHBLXDE: FUCK... THE... SHARPES! SWITCHBLXDE then goes outside of the ring, soaking in the negative reaction that the crowd is giving him, and the cameras cut to the ring where we can see Jenna, clearly frustrated with herself, rolls out of the ring and kicks the ring steps, before the cameras cut to backstage.

“Spoiled” Summer Page, “Trillion Dollar Princess” Angel Kash, and “Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn Page are in their locker room.

SUMMER: Have you found out anything about this mystery team, Tiff?

TIFFANY: Not a damn thing!!!

ANGEL: I had Mercedes try to find anything she could on this mystery team, also, but nothing.

SUMMER: Ugh! This is the worst!!!

TIFFANY: Don’t freak out Summer.

ANGEL: Tiffany is right, Summer. You know we got this! We had to defend our Empire World Tag Team titles in a battle royal and none of those peasants could stop us and why we are still the Empire World tag team champions.

TIFFANY: That’s right. Sweet Treats and Hell Realms are both scrubs. This mystery team doesn’t even have the balls to reveal themselves. There is no way any of those losers can stop us from adding to our championship prophecy.

“Spoiled” Summer Page stands up

SUMMER: You’re right, ladies. We got this. Those Oath World Tag Team titles will finally have champions worthy of being champions.

The arena darkens as the opening lyrics of “Day of Fate” play.

“Venit Aevus Ille”

“O Messiah, O Messiah”

As the guitars start, Azumi who has her back turned from the audience turns herself around lowers her hood. She gets the crowd hyped at the top of the ramp before making her way down, soaking in the fans’ love, Azumi makes her way towards the nearest corner and pose for the fans with one hand reaching out to them. CRYBABY: The following contest is schedueled for one fall, introducing first, from Yonabaru, Okinawa, Japan, Azumi Goto! The lights in the arena go down as the guitar riffs of 'Things Still Left To Say' scream through the speakers, albeit a bit distorted. As the drum picks up, we can see a shade on the entrance ramp, banging their head in tone with the drums, before rushing through a fog cloud as the singer picks up. Liz Karlson rushes out, clad in her ring gear and a black hooded sweatshirt, which she unzips and throws into the crowd before throwing her fist up. She slaps hands with some of the fans as she approaches the ring, hurling herself over the top rope and rolling to a kneeling position in the center. CRYBABY: Introducing second, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The OATH Pro Wrestling Livewire Champion, "The Brick Shithouse"... Liz... Karlson! The bell rings, and Karlson comes out of her corner, meeting Goto in the center of the ring. She bumps her chest against that of her challengers, and it’s clear the champion has no intention of changing her usual game plan. The blue haired Spitfire is running her mouth, shoving Azumi’s face away disrespectfully, and just generally pushing her around. It’s clear the Giant Slayer has had enough of this when she fires off a backhanded chop across the champion that echoes through the arena, drawing a collective “ooooh” from the assembled crowd. The champion staggers back, hand on her chest as she looks at the challenger in furious disbelief. She comes forward, throwing a hard forearm, but Azumi blocks, pushing the arm down before firing off a forearm of her own that catches Liz across the chin. Just as the champion looks back up, she eats another forearm from the Asian across from her, before taking a third as well. The champion blinks the stars out of her eyes as Goto hits the ropes, sprinting back toward the Compact Combatant. Karlson smirks though, and at the last minute as Azumi leaps for a Slingblade, Liz snatches her out of the air before driving her to the mat in a picture perfect, ring rattling powerslam. The champion hooks the outside leg, but the challenger hasn’t had near enough, powering out at just one.

Bellamy Parteabon: Our Champion and Challenger seem perfectly matched at the start. I’ve missed how many hands the Livewire Title has jumped. But I’m liking this new woman, she’s definitely got the fight that the title demands.

Helena Handbasket: Yeah, but I wouldn’t count Kasumi Goto out. She did power out of that move in one count. If anyone can have a livewire of a match it’s these two.

Bellamy Parteabon: That’s a videogame character right? We’re going to have to see how match goes, but it’s making me want Livewire as show back.

Helena Handbasket: Yup, I don’t get anyone’s name right. Ask Kasey, he might go for it.

Bellamy Parteabon: Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to do that much work.

Liz bends down, pulling Azumi to her feet by her hair. The referee admonishes the action, telling the champion to let go, but the Spitfire just tells her off, turning her attention away from her opponent to yell at the official. Goto takes advantage of the distraction, firing off a snap kick to the midsection of Karlson. The champion doubles over with an audible “oof” before Azumi shoots in quick, dropping the champ with a DDT. The crowd is getting behind the challenger now, but Karlson is already getting to her feet. The Queen of the Celestials hits the ropes, coming back in and firing off a destructive knee strike, but the champion gets her wits about her just in time, rolling forward. The challenger stumbles, turning just in time for the Compact Combatant to drop her to the mat with a clean superkick to the jaw. Now the champ is in control, and it’s time for her regular shit talking routine. She stands on one of Goto’s hands, grinding her heel into the woman’s fingers, and as the challenger howls in agony, the champion mocks her, the official, and the crowd in attendance before driving her knee into the side of Azumi’s head. The champion drops into a lazy cover, and it costs her as Goto kicks out again at just one. The blue haired Brick Shithouse slaps the mat in frustration, screaming at the referee as she gets to her feet. She backs him into the corner, screaming loudly as she does so.

Helena Handbasket: Goto will not give up and Katie Kaboom up there is not happy about that. Targeting the Asian Sensation’s hand, pulling the hair. She’s got the tricks, but not the moves.

Bellamy Parteabon: I’m seeing a winner in action, those are the type of things that keep a champion a champion without destroying them. Though that high knee by Goto was something impressive indeed, Liz will not be denied.

Helena Handbasket: Yeah, just tell Somebody Put Baby In A Corner to calm her temper tantrum.

Meanwhile, Azumi has gotten to her feet, and she looks at the opposite corner of the ring, then back to the distracted champion. She slowly backs into the corner, getting into position. The champion backs away from the referee when threatened with being disqualified, and just as she turns to find her opponent, the Queen of the Celestials sprints across the ring, ducking a hard clothesline from the Spitfire, stopping on a dime to turn back and blast the champ out of her boots with Heaven’s Flash! You can practically hear the canaries tweeting as they circle Liz’s head, and Azumi is on her like a bolt, wrapping both legs as the referee drops into a cover, but the Brick Shithouse isn’t done yet, roaring in anger as she kicks out at two. Goto doesn’t relent, pulling the still woozy Karlson to her feet. Azumi calls out to the crowd, setting the champion up for Endless World S.H., but no! Karlson, rolls forward out of the electric chair position, wrapping her up in a quick roll up pin! The referee slides in, counts one, but Goto reverses the pin, and now she’s on top! Another one count from the official, and the champion reverses again! This happens a couple more times before both women separate, panting from the effort of the pinning exchange they just put one another through.

Bellamy Parteabon: Some fantastic counter wrestling on display here! I’m not sure whether or not Liz can win this by wrestling alone. The Champion is going to have to call on rage and determination.

Helena Handbasket: I don’t even think that’s gonna be enough, Space Princess isn’t just gonna take this laying down it seems. She’s here for the Livewire title and she’s going to get it.

Bellamy Parteabon: That remains to be seen, I still think Azumi lacks a certain necessary fire to be a champion. A certain willingness to compete at a level others won’t.

Helena Handbasket: I dunno, that entire ballistic barrage was hella fire to me lady. You just crazy, or blind.

Goto sprints in, but she’s caught by Karlson, who uses her momentum to throw the challenger into the corner. Azumi hits the top turnbuckle, chest first, stumbling backwards only to get launched by a release German by the champion! She rolls through, up and onto wobbly legs as Karlson sprints across the ring for 3xF, but just as she leaps for the axe kick, Goto fires off Heaven’s Flash again, and both women blast each other with brutal kicks to the head! They go down in a heap, and the referee comes in to check on them before beginning to count. At the count of six, both women are starting to stir, and it’s Azumi who’s on her feet at eight, running forward to catch the wounded champion with Last Surprise! She looks down at Karlson, then toward the corner. She glances back down at the wounded champion before climbing to the top turnbuckle. She leaps off with Path to Heaven but the champion is on her feet and counters with Get Fucked! Goto hits the mat in a heap, but she’s not down for long as Karlson pulls her upright, and it’s clear the lights are on but nobody's home as the Compact Combatant sets up the Queen of Celestials for a Three Story Trip! The move connects in brutal fashion, and the exhausted champion rolls on top of her challenger. The referee slides in, and three short seconds later the bell rings, and the referee awards the victory to Liz Karlson!

Bellamy Parteabon: Victory to Liz Karlson! I told you the Champion would retain and she did, in brutal fashion. Color me impressed.

Helena Handbasket: Oh we are defo seeing this again! Cause that was fantastic! These two are so closely matched I can’t see Azumi NOT winning the Livewire title some day.

The speakers let out the beginning synth beats of "Kingslayer" by Bring Me The Horizon and BABYMETAL erupts through the PA System as the lights shine a purple hue around the arena, the fans within the arena rain down with a mixed reaction with the lights shining down now with a purple hue and the one singular white spotlight continuing to shine down onto the entrance curtain. Soon, the entrance curtain pulls back, and out steps Jason Long- a smirk on his face as he soaks in that crowd reaction.

"Hi, are you looking for the other side?

Feel like nothing ever seems quite right?

Are you circling the drain pipe, getting off on pain like

You're corrupted?

I need to know where your loyalties lie

Tell me, are you gonna bark or bite?

Do you really want to twist the knife

In the belly of the monster?"

Jason looks out to the crowd, keeping that smile on his face as he stands at the top of the ramp with his arms stretched out wide. Flames shoot up each side of The King as raises his leg and slam his foot down to the metal floor, setting off the large explosion of pyrotechnics behind him and allowing the crowd to enjoy the view. Jason makes his way down the ramp, hitting the hands of every fan that reach out to him, as he looks into the ring and sees his opponent- a smile growing on his face as he touches down at ringside and circles around the ring, sliding across the ring apron on his right knee before turning his body and looking out to the crowd. Jason stands up on the ring apron, leaning back against the ropes and keeping his right arm along the top rope as he points out to the crowd and hastily makes his way into the ring and into the closest corner to him where he leaps onto the second rope.

"Kingslayer

Destroying castles in the sky

Kingslayer

Forevermore the apple of my eye

I'd sacrifice my life to find you

Angel of the flame

Kingslayer

Come and collect us from the night"

Jason places his left foot on the top rope as he stretches his arms out once again, letting out a loud "YEAH!" to the crowd as he brings his arms down and slips out of his black leather jacket, throwing it down to the ringside crew and climbing up to the top rope before doing a backflip down to the mat where he nails the perfect landing. Jason turns to face his opponent and then backs himself into the corner, waiting for the bell to ring.

As “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” by Ylvis echoes throughout The Citadel, the members of the Diablo Nation in attendance rise to their feet. As smoke billows out from the entryway, the crowd starts to grow in a frenzy. El Diablo Blanco emerges from the entrance bouncing around to the music and pointing to the various audience members as Crybaby makes her introduction. CRYBABY: Making his way to the ring, from Your Mom’s Neighbors Backyard, The Backyard Phenom, Current OATH Tabula Rasa Champion! El Diablo Blanco! As he makes his way towards the ring, El D is playing air guitar, stopping every once in a while to let a fan strum a few chords. Eventually making it into the ring, El Diablo finishes with a guitar solo before bowing before the masses and handing his Tabula Rasa championship to the referee, who holds it high as the bell rings.

Bellamy Parteabon: Here we are ladies and gents and El Diablo Blancho, which I really feel must be a separate species. The show obviously went awry when I went away or this waste of spectacle wouldn’t be a champion right now.

Helena Handbasket: EL D! EL D! EL D!...I mean, what? Look, I know you don’t like the Burrito Saltan that much is clear but you can’t knock the dude. He IS Champion after all.

Bellamy Parteabon: I’m hoping Jason Long fixes that for the sake of everyone’s misery.

Helena Handbasket: You’ve got the misery part right.

Jason Long instantly looks to get on the offensive in the early goings of this Tabula Rasa Championship match, but El D was able to see it all coming and catches Long with a massive spinebuster which the crowd, his Diablo Nation, loves. Long instantly rolls out of the ring to try and gather his thoughts, El D follows him to the outside and starts laying in the punches, which sends Long over the barricade, Diablo taunts for the crowd which gives Long enough time to gather himself enough to throw a steel chair from the front row right into the skull of the Backyard Phenom, wrapping around it and giving El D a new fashion accessory.

Helena Handbasket: Yo! Long-John-Nevers don’t you dare run away, Brother! Or El D’s gonna BRING IT YOU!

Bellamy Parteabon: Mercy me, I have to sit next to this all night. Mr. Blancho does look rather fetching with his new necklace which is at least some comfort in this situation.

Helena Handbasket: That's not gonna stop the heart and sole of the Diablo Nation. Jason Intensity is gonna haveta bring more than just a chair to this party if he wants to win.

Bellamy Parteabon: One hope’s he’s prepared to do exactly that, and please for the sake of this cigarette withdrawal be quick about it. Long hops back over the barricade and starts laying into El D, with stiff head kick after stiff head kick, El D rolls back into the ring trying to get away from this, as he goes into the ring, Jason Long goes under the ring and pulls out a metal baseball bat, grinning as he does so. Long now slides into the ring and goes to hit El D with the bat, but El D is able to move out of the way before the bat causes some serious damage.

Bellamy Parteabon: Hit him again, damnit! Does that man seriously squeak when he gets hit with a bat?

Helena Handbasket: Screams of agony aren’t kid friendly, brother. Naw, you saw my boy get away though. Not bats, or chairs, or a goddamn freight train gonna stop the EL D. Mostly cause nobody has access to a freight train I suppose.

Bellamy Parteabon: Never say never, in the wrestling world, that’s what I’ve learned. Also, it’s “EL D” saying THE EL D is-You’re just going to ignore me because you did that completely on purpose to annoy me aren’t you.

Helena Handbasket: ...Could be...Maybe.

Bellamy Parteabon: Not today Satan and if I have any say, not today for El Diablo Blanco either.

Jason goes to swing at El D with the bat again but he’s once again able to avoid taking any serious damage with the bat, this time catching Jason with another massive spinebuster! El D looked around at all of his fans in the arena, before nailing Jason Long with The Backyard Elbow (People’s Elbow) for a two count!

Helena Handbasket: WWOOOO THE BACKYARD ELBOW THERE IT IS BROTHER! GIVE IT TO HIM, EL D!

Bellamy Parteabon: The fat man got a two count, will you settle down? Wonderful that I get stuck on the side of a man who doesn’t seem to know how baseball bats work.

Helena Handbasket: Naw, see EL D’s just that good. Ain’t no weapon gonna keep Flyin Bison down!

Bellamy Parteabon: Hope springs eternal in Jason Long’s case. As that rather thunderous Elbow Drop didn’t seem to do the trick.

El Diablo Blanco looks around at all of the Diablo Nation, which are on their feet for their champion. Diablo goes to the outside then onto a trampoline and grabs one of the ropes and looks to swing into the ring, Long is back to his feet but he’s groggy, El D looks to take advantage of this situation and swings into the ring…! BUT THE KING IS ABLE TO CATCH EL D WITH THE BLOOD MOON (Mushroom Stomp) IN MID AIR! The crowd gasps as Long hooks the leg. 1… 2…!

Bellamy Parteabon: Fuck, so close. This close. I could almost taste that. That Blood Moon is one lethal kick but it seems Long’s going to need better tricks. I do hope he has them, again just for everyone's sake. The less Ylvis I have to hear on a weekly basis the better for everyone.

Helena Handbasket: YYYYEEESSSSSSS! KICK OUT! THE GREATEST COMEBACK OF ALL TIME, COME ON BLANCO MY MAN BRING IT HOME!

Bellamy Parteabon: Please stop yelling. All the consecutive spinebusters I’ve had to watch are punishment enough.

Helena Handbasket: Who’s yelling?

El D is able to throw the shoulder up at the last second! Jason looks down at El D and smirks… knowing exactly what he needs to do. He goes over to the baseball bat which was knocked loose after he was hit with the spinebuster earlier in the match, as he picks it up, going over to El D who has slowly gotten up to his knees. Jason Long holds the bat under the chin of The Backyard Phenom. El D looks up at Long, who just grins and swings…! BUT EL D CATCHES HIM WITH THE ROLL UP! 1… 2…!

Bellamy Parteabon: WILL YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND PUT THIS GODDAMN SPANDEX WEARING FAKE-ASS-LUCHA-DOOFUS OUT OF COMMISSION!

Helena Handbasket: Now who’s yelling?

Bellamy Parteabon: Mos Apollogis, I had a moment there. It’s just the depths of my dislike for this dad bod vitamin hawking dustbin with legs cannot be overstated.

Helena Handbasket: The word disdain was right there, you were this close and you missed it. Suck it up, people enjoy El Nacho’s Grande and I’m certainly a huge fan. You’ll live. I promise. I think.

Bellamy Parteabon: I will not. I won’t have too if Mr. Long can just learn to swing a baseball in the next few minutes.

LONG KICKS OUT, El D gets up and turns around right into a baseball bat shot to the stomach which sends him falling to the mat, holding his stomach. Long looks down at El D and swings again, this time connecting on the back. El D lays on the floor, barely moving. As El Diablo Blanco starts to move, pulling his face off the ground, Jason Long shoots off the ropes, bouncing on the other side of them and connecting with a vicious Vanity Killer (Punt Kick) and hooks the leg!

1… 2… 3!

Bellamy Parteabon: YES! FINALLY! MR. LONG PULLS IT OFF!

Helena Handbasket: No! El D! My man! He’ll get it back, you watch.

*DING DING DING!*

“Kingslayer” hits the speakers as Jason Long rolls off of El Diablo Blanco as he’s handed the OATH Tabula Rasa Championship by the referee, rising to his feet as the crowd cheers him on in celebration of the new champion. Soon, someone enters the ring with Jason as Diablo Blanco rolls out of the ring.

CRYBABY: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s an honor to announce THE NEW OATH TABULA RASA CHAMPION… JASON LONG! My friend, Jason, how does it feel to see yourself with this championship and to defeat El Diablo Blanco here tonight?

JASON LONG: Fuckin’ amazing. I knew I was beating his arse here tonight, and I knew that I’d be adding a fifth belt to my current collection. I said I was winning every single fuckin’ belt that came in my direction and I didn’t lie once. I said that this was my year. I said I was going to do everything right and I did. Now, with the OWA Spartans Championship, the Project: Honor Prime Championship, the Kingdom Pro Commonwealth Tag Team Championship and DYSTOPIA Fight Club Wildcard Championship -- I can finally say that the OATH Tabula Rasa Championship is right where it belongs in the hands of The King.

CRYBABY: You’ve joined a long list of champions, and frankly, they’ve been through wars but there’s just one question on the mind of many… What stipulation are you bringing to the OATH Tabula Rasa Championship?

Jason takes a deep breath and then sighs, though a smile is resting on his face.

JASON LONG: Let’s be simple here, mate. If anyone wants to fight me, if anyone wants to take this title from me, if anyone dares to dethrone The King- it’s as simple as this, you’ll have to kill me to take this from me. I’m not asking for a Deathmatch, nothing of the sort, but I will say that in order to win the OATH Tabula Rasa Championship, you’ll have to win by knockout only. There’s no submitting, there’s no pinning, there’s no nothing like that. You want to win? Knock me the fuck out. You want to dethrone The King? Kill me for this title. I promise you that you won’t because I am the most deadliest strikers in this sport right now and I can knock you the fuck out within minutes if I really wanted to.

CRYBABY: There you have it, folks! The OATH Tabula Rasa Championship will now be contested in Knockout Only rules! Jason, any final words?

Again, that smile appears.

JASON LONG: This year, as always, was my year from the start and I’ve had the rough start to begin with. Not every fairytale is perfect from the start to the finish. I can admit that. But we’re only half way into the year and now look at me. On top of the fucking word like a King should- No. Just like THE KING should be. OWA, Kingdom Pro, DYSTOPIA Fight Club, Project: Honor, and now OATH. Every single place I’m in holds me as their top champion and for a good fuckin’ reason. I am The King. I am a crowned man of every single division. I am a fuckin’ god in this ring. I dare anyone to step up and fight me because when you come at The King, you best not miss. Now that the gauntlet is thrown down, everyone knows now that if you want this belt you’ll kill me for it and dammit, I’ve died twice in my life and here I fuckin’ stand before you all! Long Live The King. Long Live the new OATH Tabula Rasa Champion. All fuckin’ hail.

And just like that, Jason throws the mic down and rolls out of the ring, bringing the championship onto his shoulder as he walks out of the arena, with “Kingslayer” playing through the speakers as the scene fades to black.

We find Allen Chaney backstage, wearing his hoodie over his ring gear and holding a tablet. Not an iPad. That check didn’t clear.

ALLEN CHANEY: Y’all know everyone who recorded this is fast-forwarding to this bit, right? The Maestro of the Must-See Massacre. The Most-Hated and Highest-Rated Man in the Industry. Everyone is waiting on pins and needles, nervously anticipating the incendiary words and opinions of the Furious Funny Fat Fuck. Okay, here it goes.

Allen takes a deep breath.

ALLEN CHANEY: The Snyder Cut was garbage and if you liked it you are fucking stupid. The MCU movies are at least entertaining even if they are giant commercials for the Military Industrial Complex. I haven’t seen Snyder’s zombie movie but that probably sucks too because Zack Snyder is actually not a human so much as he is a Hot Topic flooded with Monster Energy but in a way that is somehow also fucking boring. The original theatrical cut sucked. The Snyder cut is that but LONGER and they took out that awesome Gary Clark Jr. song and replaced it with yet another cover of Hallelujah that has all the gravitas and impact of a mouse fart. Anyway, that’s probably enough for a segment.

The screen fades out then fades back in.

ALLEN CHANEY: Just fucking with you. No I’m not here to share my very correct opinions about overrated cinema. I’m here to talk about how I brought OATH back. The fact of the matter is, when I initially came along? OATH was already in danger of being cancelled due to low ratings. I came in and took this show upon my shoulders like Atlas carrying the world and breathed new life into it. The Comedian made Oath MUST-SEE but it looked like maybe it was too late. The writing was on the wall and the show had to go away because despite my best efforts you all remain just….so thoroughly the opposite of entertaining. But then...something happened! Something amazing!

Allen holds up his tablet to show screenshots of Facebook campaigns, petitions, and twitter hashtags.

ALLEN CHANEY: The world decided they would not tolerate less Allen Chaney on their televisions. SO sure enough, you got me back on the air….of course getting OATH back on the air is just kind of incidental. OATH serves mostly as a delivery vehicle to bring you all more of the Allen Chaney goodness you have been craving. Well your cravings shall be satiated. The man fan-voted by the Wrestling Observationer as the most handsome man in all of pro wrestling. ‘The Most Influential Man on Television’ according to TV Watchers magazine. I could rest on all of the accomplishments that the media and viewers have bestowed on me and there are SO. VERY MANY. but frankly the opinion of the public means less than shit to me. You wanna know an accomplishment that I was very VERY proud of? My undefeated streak in OATH Wrestling.

Allen tosses the tablet offscreen and we very clearly hear it break.

ALLEN CHANEY: It and the Intrepid Championship were STOLEN from me as part of an ORGANIZED HEIST by Stephanie Matsuda and a member of the commentary team whose name I have already forgotten. Jerry? We’ll say it was Jerry Her and so many others spent so much time huffing their own farts over how ‘superior’ they were to me because they would NEVER break the rules to win but you all outed yourselves as the hypocrites you were when you conspired and took that title and my undefeated streak from me. Well, guess what? I’ve decided it doesn’t count. Yup. Don’t count. My undefeated streak remains. And you know what? It’s ABSOLUTELY gonna be fixed when I deliver the Punchline to end all Punchlines. I’ve saved this company TWICE now and I am OWED. The record gets corrected tonight. The ledger is balanced and I reap the rewards for every good deed I have so selflessly done for all of you and it is just the beginning. Every single one of you should be thanking me but you are absolutely not at ALL welcome for everything I have done for you.

Allen takes another deep breath. There is clearly some anger brewing in The Comedian.

ALLEN CHANEY: Steph. You’re alright in the ring but you needed help to beat me at Last Resort after I had spent all week relaxing on the beach and pouring tropical alcoholic drinks down my throat. I’ll admit that was a mistake. Well this time? I am goddamn laser-focused. You have my Intrepid Championship and you think that’s something you want to keep but having that Intrepid Championship means you have something else as well. You have my full attention. I’ve been preparing for you since this company's doors closed. The Comedian opened those doors and he has returned not for a prize, not for a reward….that belt represents payment for services rendered for saving this company and because you are in the way of that? You’re about to become the butt of a very very sick joke.

The breathing gets quicker as Allen’s anger builds.

ALLEN CHANEY: Set-up.

The breathing slows down and gives way to a smirk.

ALLEN CHANEY: Punchline.

Allen walks offscreen and we fade to black.

The scene opens up at the baggage claim area of Toronto Pearson International Airport. Standing there waiting on her bags is The Wolfcub, Kallie Reznik. She is tapping her foot as she waits, doing her best to keep a low profile. She's doing a pretty good job at it but a figure comes up to her side nonetheless.

VOICE: Once a Sweet?

This causes Kallie to smile, only one person says things like that to her and she knew that voice. Alex pulls off her hood and just grins big.

KALLIE: Always a Treat. It's been a minute.

The two share a fist bump and a smile.

ALEX: Yeah, it has. Doing okay?

KALLIE: Well enough. You?

Alex shrugs.

ALEX: About the same. Still waiting on your bags?

KALLIE: Yeah, just the usual couple. Should be here any second. You got yours?

ALEX: Yeah. Been here a few. Figured we'd share the rental, just like old times.

KALLIE: Just like old times.

Kallie nods and sees her bag, leaning forward to pick it up off the conveyor belt. She waits another moment and picks up her other bag, tossing that one over her shoulder.

ALEX: You good?

Kallie shrugs and smiles at her friend.

KALLIE: As good as I'll ever be.

The two start walking, side by side, a slow lazy pace.

ALEX: It won't be easy, you know?

KALLIE: Is it ever with us?

Alex shakes her head and snorts.

ALEX: Almost never easy. People think we are just drama queens, I'm sure. But they never had people mess with their personal lives either so...whatever. Fact is, we have our work cut out for us. Hell Realm, Social Elite and an extra special bonus unknown team. Fun times.

KALLIE: Hell Realm we've beaten before.

ALEX: True, and I'm sure they will hold that against us. They'll be bitter about it. They'll be..dirty about it.

KALLIE: Course they will. We'll manage. Speed kills remember?

Alex smiles at that.

ALEX: I honestly can't wait to get my hands on The Social Elite.

KALLIE: Why's that? To my knowledge, we never faced them before. What's your beef?

Alex chuckles and sneers.

ALEX: Their witch of a manager has MY belt. And I want it back. She cheated like we knew she would and stole it. And I feel like holding grudges lately.

Kallie laughs and nods.

KALLIE: Ah, I gotcha. Either way, they match up against us pretty well and they are willing to fight dirty too.

ALEX: Yeah, but we've been in bigger matches than they have here in OATH. More pressure. Bigger stakes. We've shown we can keep it cool under pressure. And we still have to worry about that other team.

KALLIE: We'll manage when the time comes. I have faith in us. Besides, we got something to prove. That our reign wasn't a complete fluke. That those belts are OURS for the taking and would still be ours if we would have taken into consideration that Minoru wouldn't have taken the low road.

ALEX: Screw that guy.

KALLIE: Definitely.

ALEX: Next time I see him, I'm punching square in the mouth, regardless of the circumstances.

Kallie chuckles and nudges Alex.

KALLIE: Save some for me.

ALEX: Of course.

Alex points as they get up to the car rental desk and smiles.

ALEX: Your turn. I got it last time.

KALLIE: yeah, well, I'm driving.

The two approach the desk as the camera pans back and then slowly fades to black, ending the scene.

CRYBABY: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and a twenty minute time limit and it is for the OATH Pro Wrestling Intrepid Championship. Introducing First, from Kansas City, Missouri, weighing in at 375lbs. ,“The Comedian” Allen Chaney! The opening of 'Shimmy Shimmy Ya' plays and after the quote from Richard Pryor 'The Comedian' emerges from gorilla, he looks around the arena a bit before walking to the ring with all the enthusiasm of someone who just clocked in at work. He climbs up on the apron and motions to the ref to come over to him. He says something to the ref we can't hear over the music. The ref responds and Allen rolls his eyes and dismisses what the ref has to say with a wanking motion before entering through the middle and top ropes and having a bit of a stretch and throwing a few punches at the air before his music dies down. CRYBABY: Introducing second, from Brooklyn, New York, the OATH Pro Wrestling Intrepid Champion, “The Day One Pledge” Stephanie “Cloud” Matsuda! "Oh La La" by Run the Jewels kicked up and Cloud walked out onto the stage. She stopped at the top of the ramp and looked out over the crowd, Intrepid Championship over her shoulder. Stephanie then made her way down to the ring as the fans clamored for her to acknowledge them but she was hyper focussed on the task at hand. It’s clear the Comedian is in no laughing mood when the bell rings, and he meets the champion in the center of the ring. Matsuda throws a forearm, but Chaney blocks before blasting his opponent across the chin with a close fisted punch. Stephanie stumbles backwards, trying to shake the cobwebs, but Allen follows, throwing a variety of punches and kicks, backing the champion into the ropes. He continues his assault until the referee pushes between the two of them, backing Chaney off. He smirks, feigning apologies as the champion stumbles into the corner. The Blasian Sensation looks out of it as the Comedian comes in again, but it turns out she’s playing possum because as he gets close, she drops down, throwing a dropkick into his knees. The former funny man falls forward, face first into the middle turnbuckle pad as Matsuda rolls out of the way. While it did give her a bit of breathing room as she scurries toward the center of the ring, all it seems to have done to Chaney is piss him off even further. He turns, screaming at Matsuda to stop running away from him. She complies, sprinting in and leaping, looking for a hurricanrana, but the Comedian is having none of it, halting her momentum before driving her into the mat with a brutal powerbomb! Stephanie audibly exhales as Chaney hits the ropes, coming back and leaping for Makin Pancakes, but Matsuda rolls out of the way. Now it’s Allen’s turn to get the wind knocked out of him. The champion makes it to the corner, pulling herself to her feet as Chaney does the same in the opposite corner.

Bellamy Parteabon: The struggle is real here, both Matsuda and Chaney has pulled out the stops and have started this off like the war it should be. This match for the second tier title of OATH, and both of them want it desperately.

Helena Handbasket: TimbaLands best customer has had a rocky career in OATH and it seems what with the Intrepid Title she looks to change that. Charlie Day Secretary is hungry though and the man has had a tough ladder to climb to get here. It’s anybody's match.

Both champion and challenger meet in the middle of the ring, and all thought of defense is tossed aside as they begin to just throw bombs at one another. Strikes connect, are blocked, deflected and dodged, before Matsuda hits a teeth rattling uraken, causing the challenger to stumble backwards. She runs in, hitting a hurricanrana on her opponent that flips him into the corner. She immediately explodes forward, blasting him with a cannonball senton before dragging him out of the corner for a pin attempt. Chaney kicks out at two, but Matsuda immediately grabs his arm, rolling him over and applying an armbar, twisting his wrist to an extremely awkward angle. The Comedian isn’t laughing as he struggles to escape, yelling in frustration and pain as he tries to escape the hold. He finally manages to get a foot on the ropes, and the referee waves Stephanie off. The champion reluctantly releases the hold, getting to her feet. Chaney is holding his arm, shaking it to try and get the feeling back into it. Matsuda runs forward, looking to press the attack, but the Comedian hits a shoulder block. No sooner does the champion hit the mat than does Makin Pancakes connect! Chaney wraps up the champs leg, but he uses his bad arm which allows her to kick out at an early two count. The wounded monster sits up, gritting his teeth as he holds the injured limb.

Helena Handbasket: Eddie Blake’s almost got it down, but he’s also down a wrist, I’m not an expert in wrestle math but think that’s a bad trade yo.

Bellamy Parteabon: It depends, if he could have capitalized it might not have been that bad a trade. Matsuda’s got a thing for punishing limbs and anyone who looks to take her championship should know that. It’s just one of those things you need to be prepared to endure.

Helena Handbasket: Omni-Man’s wife just will not die..Ooohhh, probably not my best thought out name riff given the context. Ok, Matsuda you get the one correct naming, and you better be thankful for it. Don’t like, lose your title and shit.

Bellamy Parteabon: Hopefully that’s her goal anyway. You’d think it would be, unless she wants to lose to Allen Chaney, I’m not her therapist. I can’t say for sure.

The challenger is on his feet as the champion goes to stand. He doesn’t wait, grabbing her by the wrist and spinning her around for The Setup, but she ducks the clothesline before snapping off a crisp pele kick, stunning the Comedian. He stumbles back into the ropes, and Matsuda’s off at a sprint, hitting the ropes and coming back with lethal intent. Just as she comes in to blast him with a knee strike, he grabs the top rope, dropping down and pulling it with him, causing the Blasian Sensation to overshoot her opponent, tumbling over the top rope to land on the apron with a thud. The Comedian follows her out, picking her up with a dangerous smirk on his face. The referee tells the combatants to get back into the ring, but Chaney makes an obscene gesture with one hand before dropping the champion with a brutal DDT on the apron! Matsuda rolls off and onto the floor, but she gets no reprieve as the challenger gathers her up, ramming her into the barricade before tossing her back into the ring under the bottom rope. The Blasian Sensation is writhing in pain as the Comedian rolls back into the ring. He gets to his feet, still shaking out his arm as he uses a foot under the chin to position the champion on all fours. He hits the ropes, coming back in to deliver Heckler Control, but Matsuda yanks her head back at the last second, causing him to wrench his knee. Chaney stumbles, grasping his knee but doesn’t have long to lament the botched attempt before turning into Matsuda flying in with Final Heaven! Chaney falls to his back as Matsuda rolls to her feet. She immediately climbs the turnbuckle before leaping off to nail her challenger with Cloud 9!

Bellamy Parteabon: What a Cloud 9! That entire moment has to be one of the highlights of Stephanie Matsuda’s career, because that was textbook. Still, the comedian is a tough bastard and he may yet live.

Helena Handbasket: That whole thing was a human car crash in slow motion. Yo, fella’s! I ain’t one for the gore alright, so lets not smash each other into little bits. They are just out to completely wreck each other.

Bellamy Parteabon: Of course they are! They know what title they’re competing for, and they know what it means. Chamey himself is sick of being overlooked, even though he hates almost everyone. You can tell he wants this, which is a bit sad because I think his chances have just gone down the drain.

Helena Handbasket: I think Senior I hate Everyone Senior is gonna pull something out of his back pocket. Dude’s too tough to die, even if Matsuda insists on continuing to attempt to make mincemeat with his head.

She goes for the pin, but stops as Chaney begins to stir. Instead, she circles her opponent as he gets to his feet. The Comedian throws a last ditch clothesline with all his strength, it connects! Matsuda is seeing stars wobble around her head to out of tune music. She nearly gets turned in half! Chaney delivers a Heckler Control to the Champion to keep her laying there. Matsuda starts to stir and eats another Heckler Control for her trouble, as she lays groaning on the mat. Chaney has to break out all his big guns, pulling himself to the top rope in desperation, as his knee still seems to be giving him trouble. The Comedian pulls out his desperation finisher, Flying Guillotine (Moonsualt Leg Drop.)! It pays off! Desperation wins the day as Chaney hooks both legs and hangs on tight for the three count!

Helena Handbasket: You’re track record tonight is *amazing* Bella. Amazing. You can’t even see let alone call these can you?

Bellamy Parteabon: Oh shut up and congratulate Allen Chaney. He dug deep and he deserves it, being able to win here is the start of the Ratings Boom for OATH.

CRYBABY: This is your Main Event of the evening, and it is a fatal four way elimination tag team contest, for the vacant OATH Tag Team Championships!

"Welcome to Hell" plays over the speakers as a red hue falls over the Citadel. The two members of The Hell Realm, Adrestia Nyx and Ryan Terror, step out from behind the curtain along with Monstruo in tow. The trio begin to calmly strut to the ring, climbing into the ring and Money By Cardi B starts playing throughout the arena. Angel and Summer emerge from the entrance. They are indifferent to the boos as they walk down to the ring. They get to ring and climb up onto the ring apron. Summer and Angel look back then down to a cameraman while the referee opens the ring ropes. Summer and Angel step into the ring CRYBABY: And introducing next, they are the team of Alex Andrews and Kallie Reznik, The Sweet Treats!

"Hypa Hypa" by Eskimo Callboy blares over the PA system and the lights surrounding the stage strobe blue and punk alternating colors to the beat. After a second more, out comes Alex Andrews and Kallie Reznik, bobbing to the beat of the song. They go to different sides of the entrance way and try to hype up the crowd, getting them into it as well. From there, they meet back in the middle, give each other a knowing smile and a fist bump and head down towards the ring, Kallie skipping while singing along to the song. Alex walking casually, taking in the sights and sounds before the match begins. The three teams in the ring wait for the match to begin, each staring each other down and talking trash as the fourth and final team make themselves known... Yeah baby

Uh Members Only, baby

In the motherfuckin' booth yeah baby

I got blood on my boots, baby

Yeah, baby

Yeah baby, throw that ass back on a tricycle, baby!

YEAH! As the intro of "Take A Step Back" by Ski Mask The Slump God and XXXTentacion plays out throughout the arena the lights dim down, that is until the bass drops and the lights start pulsing to the bass, J.T.M. and Chance Williams soon come out, wearing matching "All Eyez On Us" hoodies and Purge Masks that are lighting up in tune with the bass of the song. As they make their way down the ramp we can see fans calling out to them and flipping them off, but the pair gives absolutely zero fucks. They slide under the bottom rope and Crybaby makes her introduction.

CRYBABY: Currently in the ring, at a combined weight of three hundred and sixty five pounds, the team of Just That Motherfucker, J.T.M. and Chance Williams, All Eyez On Us!

As she makes her introduction the pair go up to the second rope, pulling the Purge masks off and posing to the crowd, J.T.M. points to a random hottie in the front row and mouths "call me", the pair hop down from the ropes and go to the corner, waiting for the match to begin. *DING DING DING*

Helena Handbasket: Here we are folks, the Tag Team Championship match. Gonna be honest, beyond Hell Realm, and Sweet Treats. I’ve got no idea who any of these people are. So I’ll be googling while Bellamy takes it from here.

Bellamy Parteabon: Dammit I was goog-...Nevermind that. I’m sure this going to be a fantastic match with so many tag teams returning after OATH’s hiatus.

The fatal four way tag match starts with J.T.M. and Alex Andrews, J.T.M. tries to start it off with a cat call but Alex is having none of it, J.T.M. tries to play it off with a handshake, which she accepts, then he goes in for a Lariat which Andrews ducks, dropping J.T.M on his head with a German Suplex! J.T.M. staggers back to his feet and it appears he’s fighting invisible men as he flops back down onto the mat, Williams reaches over and tags himself in.

Bellamy Parteabon: Dammit man, if you’re going to be sneaky actually be smart about it. There’s such a thing as timing, is what I’m saying, and this dude does not have it.

Helena Handbasket: I think that’s J.T.M, and he got dunked on by Alex Andrews but Andrews is a hell of a competitor, and I haven’t seen enough about J.T.M to make a call yet.

Bellamy Parteabon: I have, and Mr. initials needs to up his game, and quickly.

Helena Handbasket: Hey, the whole not remembering people’s names is my gimmick. Back off.

Chance and Alex now circle each other, Williams looks to catch her with a pump kick but once again is sidestepped by Andrews, who drops Williams with a Russian Leg Sweep and goes to grab his legs and roll him over, looking to lock in the Dawn Breaker (Lion Tamer) early and eliminate All Eyez On Us, but Chance is able to escape the submission by pulling his legs free and rolling backwards before catching Alex with a leaping DDT which only keeps her down for a one count.

Bellamy Parteabon: His tag partner isn’t the most impressive either. At least he managed to wriggle out of Alex’s finisher and get something to go on.

Helena Handbasket: Oh leave Billy D be, dude’s just tagged in. He’ll catch a rythme eventually I’m sure. Those Sweet Treats are gonna be hard to be, being former OATH Tag Team Champions!

Bellamy Parteabon: They're going to give me a sugar overload, I’m hoping Hell Realm wins. It’ll be your favorite thing, spooky season all season.

Helena Handbasket: Gag me with roughage.

Williams shoots Alex into a corner and Ryan Terror tags himself into the match, coming in hot against Williams who is doing all sorts of flippy shit counters to all of Ryan's offence, until he’s eventually caught with a Half and Half suplex that just folds Chance in half, Ryan covers but Chance is able to throw a shoulder up at two.

Bellamy Parteabon: Ryan Terror is in the match, Hell Realm has arrived and they are making a huge impression.

Helena Handbasket: Boo, come on Take A Chance on me. Do better, I don’t wanna haveta deal with the out of season spooktacular around here. It’s bad enough Locke Helms might win the world title tonight.

Bellamy Parteabon: That he might, but the question we should be asking now is whether or not Hell Realm will end up the new Oni?

Helena Handbasket: Oni didn’t work. I’m all for Sweet Treats winning, maybe even All Eyes on Us. I’m not sure about the Social Elite, except I’m not a huge of anyone who’d call themselves that.

Ryan picks up Chance and tags in Adrestia Nyx, the pair of them drop Chance with a pair of rolling elbows followed by one in stereo which sends Chance crashing down, hurting inside. Adrestia picks up Chance and starts laying into him with slaps and chops, the start of ‘Knuckles, Bitch’, but as she goes for the spinning backfist, Williams is able to block it with his forearms he then starts laying into her with a combo of strikes, which is normally the precursor to Ain’t It Fun (Cutter), but as he goes for the cutter he’s interrupted by Ryan who nails him with Out of the Shadows (Superkick)!

Bellamy Parteabon: Youch, that’ll wake you up inside. Sudden Ryan Terror out of nowhere, apparently it’d be wise to watch both members of Hell Realm at all times.

Helena Handbasket: Did you just do a quote Evanescence pun thing? Lay off my shtick. I’m gonna count it as a win that Smash Into Pieces the boy band up there, managed to get some licks in before he got kicked in the mouth.

Bellamy Parteabon: Ain’t nobody gonna save him now, we’re very close to having Hell Realm reclaim the Tag Team Championships.

Helena Handbasket: Is this entire match filled with former OATH Tag Team Champions? I guess that would make sense? I’m going back to google, gemme a sec.

As Ryan taunts the now downed Chance, he quickly gets dropped by J.T.M. who catches Terror with I Write Sins (Ripcord Discus Punch) and quickly follows up with Not Tragedies (Bottom Rope Springboard Stunner) which sends Terror stumbling out of the ring

Helena Handbasket: Close the goddamn door! Because that was a fucking amazing move pulled off by All Eyes on You there. I super dig the naming convention AND the execution.

Bellamy Parteabon: Careful, they might think you think like them.

J.T.M. is then caught by Adrestia Nyx, who just absolutely destroys him with Glassjaw (Bicycle Knee Strike) which sends J.T.M. out of the ring and to the floor. Nyx then finds herself in the ring with Williams, who is still out from the superkick from Terror, or so she thought. He gets her with a thumb to the eye which staggers her, which is quickly followed up by a Pump Kick quickly transitioned into a Snap German, Williams then quickly climbs to the top and nails her with the Steppin’ Up (Corkscrew Moonsault)! 1… 2… 3! ELIMINATED: The Hell Realm

Helena Handbasket: WWWWWOOOOOOO YUS! YUS! YUS! I DDOOOONNNN’’’TTT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SPOOKY!

Bellamy Parteabon: I will pay somebody for ear plugs, please, thank you. Listen to that. Ok, enough of that. While she’s goes nuts I’ll spell it out that Hell Realm was just eliminated and I may have lost a bet.

As Nyx rolls out of the ring, Williams is quick to taunt her, which proves to be his downfall because he gets spun around by Angel Kash who quickly plants him with the Kash Flow (Codebreaker) and hooks both legs! 1… 2… 3! ELIMINATED: All Eyez On Us

Bellamy Parteabon: Miss Kash (No Relation)’s first big move all match is to eliminate All Eyes On Us. Quite an entrance, here’s hoping she’s got the follow up all prepped.

Helena Handbasket: Fucksticks. That isn’t what I wanted to happen. Now my choices are the Candy Shop and Mean Girl’s the Sequel no one cared about. You know, it’s like bad moms two except they all still suck and are definitely wineos.

J.T.M. is just short of breaking the pin and he just holds his head, rolling Chance out of the ring and the pair walks up the ramp, leaving us with just two teams… The Sweet Treats and The Social Elite. Angel Kash is looks back at Summer Page who is applauding her, then quickly switches to telling her to watch out behind her as Kallie Reznik has gotten into the ring and looks to connect with the Elysium (Bicycle Kick) which connects, sending Angel crashing to the mat and Kallie is quick to hook the legs, but it’s quickly broken up by Summer, who starts putting the boots to Kallie and looks to connect with the Total Knockout (Superkick)!

Bellamy Parteabon: Say what you want about the Social Elite, they’re here to win obviously. The only moves they’ve made this entire match instantly got rid of most of their competition.They almost did it again just now. I’m calling it, the Elite will be Champions.

Helena Handbasket: Fine, you’re on a losing streak anyway. Called. The Bleach Blond Suicide Squad ain’t gonna beat my girls, I’ll back Shoots an Ladders.

Bellamy Parteabon: Sometimes I think you’re confusing on purpose. Look, Social Elite are on a tear, they’ve got this.

Helena Handbasket: And that Total Knockout ain’t gonna be enough, mark my words...Also yes. Confusing on purpose, yes.

But out of her eyesight, Alex Andrews has gotten into the ring and saves Kallie by kicking Summer in the stomach and quickly connects with the Queens End (Hammerlock DDT)! Angel is back on her feet at this point and stumbles towards the pair, Alex see’s this and is quick to hit her with a spear! The ref is trying to get some sort of control in this match and is trying to send Alex out of the ring who is trying to alert him of a situation growing behind him.

Helena Handbasket: QUEENS END! SPEAR ON TOP OF THAT, SUCK IT!

Bellamy Parteabon: Truly, you are an eloquent wordsmith. It looks bad, but the Social Elite seem full of tricks, no doubt they pull something out of their sleeve. Look, Alex is failing to get the Ref to look behind him.

Helena Handbasket: Wha-?

Kallie doesn’t see it coming as Tiffany Lynn Page gets up on the apron and has something behind her back, Kallie goes over and tries to shoo her off the apron but Angel has gotten back to her feet and grabs Kallies arms and holds them back, Tiffany Page shows what was behind her back, which is something that has become a regular thing for them, a bottle of champaign.

Bellamy Parteabon: I told you, tricks. They have them.

Helena Handbasket: Yeah, like fuckin bunny rabbits them.

Tiffany taunts Kallie, and Alex is still trying to direct the referee’s attention towards what's going on behind him and he’s still trying to get her out of the ring, Tiffany laughs and swings the bottle… BUT KALLIE MOVES OUT THE WAY! Angel gets caught upside the head with the bottle, which shatters on impact. Angel falls back to the mat and Kallie looks around and goes over to Alex, tagging her in.

Helena Handbasket: Hah! Told you! Tricks are for kids, silly rabbit.

Bellamy Parteabon: Fffuuuccckkkk. Why is it, nobody around here can seem to properly capitalize on things?

The pair get themselves set and Angel is slowly getting to her knees, The Sweet Treats look at each other and nod, before absolutely nailing Angel with Double Elysium (Double Running Bicycle Kicks)! Alex covers! 1… 2… !

Helena Handbasket: The Sweet Treats can!

SUMMER PAGE MAKES THE SAVE! The Social Elite are still in this, but just by the skin of their teeth. Summer gets to her feet and pushes Kallie out of the ring, she lands hard on the outside. Alex see’s this and is enraged. Charging towards her and looks to hit the Falcon Punch (Superman Punch) but is caught by Summer with the Total Knockout (Superkick)!

Bellamy Parteabon: Nope! TKO! Alright, I’m going to give it to these girls. This is some entertaining wrestling.

Helena Handbasket: I’ve still got ten bucks to win. Get off your ass Alex! Come on, Supergirl!

Summer goes over to Angel and tries to wake her up enough to finish this match. Angel slowly gets to her feet and looks down at Alex, they both pick her up by her hair and quickly the pair plant her with the Silver Spoon (Spike Double DDT)! Angel throws an arm over Alex and the referee counts. 1… 2… !

Bellamy Parteabon: Here we go!

Alex gets a shoulder up! The crowd loses their mind and start chanting for the Sweet Treats, Summer tells Angel to pick her up again as she goes to the apron, looking to put the nail in the coffin here and hit the Social Climber (Indytaker) but as Angel picks Alex up, Summer is pulled off the apron by Kallie! Kallie is quick and puts Summer down with a Northern Lights Suplex! Angel sees this and switches her focus from Alex to Kallie, who has hopped back up on the apron, Angel swings and Kallie ducks, she swings again but Kallie is able to keep avoiding these strikes until Kallie blasts her with an Enziguri which sends Angel staggering back into Alex who connects with the Broken Wings (Backstabber) and is quickly followed up from Kallie with the Threads of The Moirai (Eclipse)! The Skittles Scramble connects! Alex quickly hooks the leg and the referee counts! 1… 2… 3! ELIMINATED: The Social Elite

Bellamy Parteabon: Fuck! What a whirlwind of a match. I admit, toward the end I wasn’t sure what was happening let alone who was going to win this one.

Helena Handbasket: Oh yeah, deffo’s a hard fought match and a hell of a win from the Sweet Treats and cause ya’ll just won me ten bucks I’m gonna get your name right this time!

CRYBABY: Here are your winners.. And new OATH Tag Team Champions, Kallie Reznik and Alex Andrews, The Sweet Treats!

“Hypa Hypa” by Eskimo Callboy blasts throughout the arena to a massive pop from the audience, Alex and Kallie have recaptured the crowns that they feel were cheated away from them. They grab the championships from the referee and hug each other, before going to the turnbuckles and raise the championships high over their heads, showing them off to the crowd as the cameras fade.

To the back, more specifically the private dressing room of the OATH World Champion Matt Shields. He’s sitting in a large black massage chair, his feet propped up, the title sitting across his lap under a simple leather bound book, He’s got a drink in his left hand, his kendo stick in the right and of course there’s the ever present smirk on his face. He looks down to the book and nods.

SHIELDS: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—

Only this and nothing more.”

Shields stops, looks up, takes a sip of his drink, then shuts the book.

SHIELDS: I’m not reading the other eighteen stanzas. We all know the story, dude misses his dead girlfriend, Raven flies in the window, taunts him and dude goes fucking nuts as the bird just sits there. Guy thought he could handle all his problems with words, and that's where he went wrong. Look, I love to hear myself speak as much as you all love listening to my smooth sexy ass voice. I’ve gotten offers to do audio books, voice overs, all kinds of shit. Tonight though, it’s back to business, and my business is kicking ass. It’s why I have this.

Shields raises the title up before placing it on his shoulder and standing.

SHIELDS: Unlike our buddy in the poem, I hear someone tapping on my door late at night, I get up, grab a weapon and bash their fucking brains in for bothering me. Right now, Locke Helms is doing a whole lot of rapping at my chamber fucking door. I have beaten his ass before and it’s time I do it again tonight. It has been an agonizingly excruciating terrible time since OATH closed its doors. I was so close to making things right, destroying Locke Helms and finally hearing the sweet voice of my golden girl, my lost love, my Blanche. I almost went completely and utterly insane as I waited for the chance to earn her forgiveness and hear her dulcet tone. Tonight is that night and there is nothing that will stop me. Not Locke Helms, not the Hell Realm, not anyone on the roster or management. I don't care if the big bearded bitch himself descends down from Heaven and commands me to stop. I'll flip him off, shove my kendo stick up his ass and go back to business. Bet even his omnipotent ass wouldn't see that one coming. I AM the OATH World champion. I AM the only one worthy to hold Blanche. I AM the best god damned wrestler on this planet and tonight I WILL remind each and every single one of you motherfuckers why I am to be feared, respected, and not FUCKED WITH!

Shields smacks his kendo stick down on the ground as he raises Blanche high and turns his head, staring at “her” as everything fades to black.

---

Results: • SWITCHBLXDE def. Jenna Sharpe • Liz Karlson def Azumi Goto; Still Livewire Champion • Jason Long def. El Diablo Blanco; New Tabula Rasa Champion • Allen Chaney def. Stephanie Matsuda; New Intrepid Champion • Sweet Treats def The Hell Realm, The Social Elite and All Eyez On Us; New Tag Team Champions