Back to Business Part Two
June 14th, 2021
The Citadel in Toronto, Ontario
As the opening chords of “Killing In the Name” by Rage Against the Machine echoes throughout the Citadel, smoke begins to billow out from the entryway. Leah Aguero emerges from out of the smoke with a black hoodie covering her face up. She pauses at the top of the entrance as the fans yell out at her in disapproval for her disregard of everyone. Eventually, she pulls back the hood and looks out at the crowd with her black ONI mask covering the lower half of her face. The faintest grin can be seen under the mask as she lets the chorus of boos take over the building as she slowly walks down the entrance way towards the ring. Rolling into the ring under the bottom rope, Leah immediately sits down in the corner, letting her arms drape across the bottom ring ropes as she awaits her opponent. “Feral Spirit” by Paleowolf sounds off as Kai D. Oh stands on the stage, cutting an imposing figure. He points towards himself as a spotlight shines on him. He marches down the ramp and stands before the steel steps. He bangs on the steps repeatedly before rushing up them and climbing into the ring. He poses, flexing on the turnbuckle and pounding his chest. The opening of ‘Space Jam’ plays and the crowd begins to get hype. The music picks up and Ollie Linkoln bounds out and runs to either side of the entry area to wave to fans on both sides of the arena. He struts his way to the ring to the rhythm of the music, still waving to fans on occasion, pointing out the stuffed Rocky toys. He hops up onto the apron and does a rolling somersault into the ring but instead of landing on his feet, he lands flat on his back and just lays there a moment before mopping up to his feet as if to say ‘I totally meant to do that’. Ollie holds his hand up for a high-five from the referee and once he gets it he celebrates and heads to his corner. The lights inside the Citadel suddenly dim as the screen lights up with a serene view of the Serengeti, alone on a large rock, a black lion lays, majestic and calm. Suddenly we hear some music begin to play.
I wake up at one
My day's just begun
Say hello to the sun
I'm feeling sublime
The weather is fine
So I'm gonna shine
In the finest of clubs
The best country pubs
Nobody will stop me
The lion starts to stir as the music picks up a bit, and bright green and pink lights begin to flash.
So now
Whatever I wear
It's gotta have flare
So you people can stare
And I'll catch your eye
When I walk on by
Nobody will stop me
Ooh
The lion slowly stands and begins stalking his way to the edge of the cliff
Come take my hand
Let's start the show
Strike up the band
And you'll see
The lion roars right as the chorus kicks in and gold pyro fires off in front of Minoru Tanahashi, clad in one of his flashy ring outfits. He starts strutting down to the ring, dancing along to the music and singing along with the words, Minoru hops up onto the second step, then right to the apron. He wipes his shoes, steps in and goes to the center of the ring. He looks out to the crowd and extends his hand to them.
Come take my hand
Let's start the show
Strike up the band
And you'll see
As the second chorus hits, a bunch of Black Lion Bomb stickers fire off into the crowd. He turns with a flourish, takes off his mask, tosses it behind his back, does a standing moonsault, lands on his feet and catches the mask in the corner. A strong instrumental chord kicks up as the fans turn to face the entrance way with a mixture of cheers as the instrumental arches up into the song At the end of the first verse that leads into the hook, a figure steps out onto the entrance way in the form of the "Fire Fist Ace" himself-Alex Pierce, as he bends over and slams his fists hard a couple of times before hitting his trainer's signature "cross" pose before he starts to power walk with a powerful intent towards the ring, ignoring the fans as he goes
If the bad times are coming, let 'em come
Let the death drum break the slump
Before the once young braves succumb
The fickle flicker of desire expires If the bad times are coming let 'em come, let 'em come
Pierce gets to the ring and starts to circle it for a moment before he reaches the far end and hops up onto the ring apron and leans against the ropes facing the crowds before hopping back down and makes another circuit around the ring and mocking them as he goes, drawing up a massive amount of heel heat as he goes before he gets back into the ring, starting to pace around the ring almost like he's impatient for the fight to come.
Alex then stops and leans against the far ropes, he removes his ring jacket as he starts to pace along the ropes of his side of the ring.
Helena Handbasket: AH! Here we have the Ultimate X skeleton Key match!
Bellamy Parteabon: I thought this was just a gimmick for Halloween? Why in the world is it back?
Helena Handbasket: Something, something, Kasey wants to see good matches? Question Mark, multiple exclamation points.
Bellamy Parteabon: You’re such a nerd.
AJ Jenkynx made his entrance last, He wasn’t trying to play about with a long ass entrance or some pyro, no. He was strictly about business tonight as he charges to the ring and goes after Kai D. Oh. The match at that point just becomes complete chaos, Alex Pierce takes the opportunity to sucker punch Ollie Linkoln, while Jenkynx dog walks Kai D. Oh around the ring. Leah rushes Tanahashi who smartly sidesteps her and sends the woman flying over the ropes, he then moves to super kick Pierce but hits Ollie instead! Pierce grabs the stunned Linkoln and chucks him at Tanahashi who dodges this human missile as well. Ollie collides with Jenkynx, and just rolls with it the Manic Marvel turning his uncontrolled movement into a super powered spear which hits Jenkynx and Kai D. Oh! With Jeknynx and D. Oh train wrecked in the corner Ollie follows up with a coast to coast dropkick!
As Ollie gets to his feet after the coast to coast, he gets absolutely leveled by Minoru with the Akihabara Dreams (Yakuza Kick) which sends Ollie through the ropes and to the outside, Minoru looks at Linkoln on the outside and and thinks he’s the only person standing in the ring currently, only to be dropped by Pierce with a huge Discus Clothesline, now Alex goes to start climbing the turnbuckles, only to have Leah Aguero jump on his back, scratching at his face. The Fire Fist Ace is trying to get Leah off his back but to no avail, eventually realising what he’s gotta do, and just drops flat to his back from the second turnbuckle, sending him and Leah crashing to the mat, with Leah taking all of his bodyweight crashing onto her.
Helena Handbasket: This is a hectic match starting off here folks, but then again there’s like eight people in this thing. It’s bound to be *CRAZY!*
Bellamy Parteabon: There are only six people in this match, to beg your pardon but that doesn’t lessen the chance of chair based brain surgery any.
Helena Handbasket: Hah, yeah not with MJ hit them until they stop moving Jenkins in this match. Or Lea Might still be inane but we’re not sure Aquifer.
Bellamy Parteabon: All good competitors, joining them the Manic Marvel, the Black Lion, Dragon God and the Fire Fist Ace. Whatever that last one is supposed to mean. I’m hoping it means lights his own hand on fire and punches people with it.
The move has just as much damage to Alex as it did to Leah and both competitors lay writhing on the ground. Meanwhile the action continues! Kai D. Oh has finally gotten the upper hand on Jekynx and whips him into the turnbuckle only to lay into him with some shoulder thrusts. With Jenkynx just about helpless in the corner neither him nor Oh see the return of Leah coming! The War Queen hurls herself into the Dragon God like it’s going out of style and sends them both into a corner crush that makes the entire people pile hit the mat hard, Jenkynx included. Tanashi has taken the smart man’s advantage and is the first fighter to get the weapons! The Black Lion has his near signature kendo stick and is busily introducing it to the face of Alex Pierce! Alex goes down in a heap, and Minoru makes a fast cover that is broken up even faster by Ollie! The Manic Marvel had ducked out to get himself a trashcan and has just yeeted it into Minoru’s attempted cover. Linkoln just laughs when Tanahashi flops on his face, and Ollie grabs his kendo stick taking the beatings to both Pierce and Tanahashi!
Bellamy Parteabon: I cannot for the life of me follow what is going on in this ring right now.
Helena Handbasket: It’s easy! Orville’s all crash boom! Mino was all AAHHahahah My KENDO STICK! I think Laya scratched somebody and then that entire stack of people got crashed into?
Bellamy Parteabon: Are you...Are you playing with action figures right now?
Helena Handbasket:....Maybe?
As Ollie lays into Pierce and Tanahashi, he doesn’t see that behind him is the Dragon God, Kai D. Oh. Who has managed to get himself back to his feet. Ollie realises that someone is behind him but doesn’t know WHO it is, he slowly turns around and sees who is standing behind him, chuckling nervously. The height difference between these two is… something. Ollie looks up to Kai and offers his hand in a high five to which the big man goes to swing at Ollie, who uses his speed and agility to his advantage, rolling under the clothesline that was thrown by Kai, getting back to his feet and hitting him from behind with a dropkick that sends Kai to the outside, and Ollie looks around to the crowd, who are all cheering him, and he runs off one side of the ropes and leaps outside, nailing Kai with a Tope Con Hilo!
Helena Handbasket: So far nobody has gone for the key, but we’ve seen lots and lots of carnage. I guess if nobody can stand, the one who can wins?
Bellamy Parteabon: It’s a good strategy to be fair. Cause as much damage as quickly as possible, and hope it’s enough to allow you to gain the prize.
Helena Handbasket: Yeah I mean, the key is OATH's version of the dreaded contract briefcase. The holder can gain themselves a title match just about whenever they feel. I’ve been told however that the main difference is one must defend it every match they have.
Bellamy Parteabon: Ah, so it’s less an advantage and more of a target. I’m in favor of course, the harder our athletes have to work for their prizes, the better.
Kai and Ollie are slowly getting to their feet, only to realise that Leah Aguero has launched herself off the ropes and then at them with a suicide dive that takes them both out! Now all three of them are getting back to their feet, throwing hands with each other as they’re getting up, only to be taken out by AJ Jenkynx who launches into the sky with a Tope Con Hilo of his own! I think we can all see where this is going, all four of them are getting to their feet and Minoru Tanahashi is back on his feet, who looks at the grouping of people on the floor, out to the crowd, who want him to add to the chaos going on on the floor currently, and he’s happy to oblige to their request, but as he shoots himself off the ropes he gets absolutely destroyed by Alex Pierce, who nails Minoru with the Backfist to the Future (Spinning Backfist) to a mass of boos by the crowd, who wanted another high spot.
Helena Handbasket: The crowd is enjoying this! No doubt, I’ve never seen so many suicide dives and I’m a bit envious! I mean, I’m not so into gore but nobody's been busted up yet so it’s just a lot of stuff that can be taken badly out of context if you only played the audio.
Bellamy Parteabon: Your thought processes truly puzzle sometimes. It would be in someone’s best interest to actually bust open as many people as possible. All the while avoiding the same fate needless to say. The more bloodloss the harder it is to perform feats of daring do like climbing.
Helena Handbasket: I can’t even tell you who I’m pulling for, everyone seems evenly matched so far, but I think I’ll actively root against who starts busting people open. That whole dislike of gore and all.
Bellamy Parteabon: We’ve both had a pretty poor track record so far tonight, so I doubt it matters.
The Eliminator takes his moment in the spotlight, posing and flexing for the crowd before picking Tanahasi up his hair and dragging him over to bash his face into a turnbuckle that someone, anyone’s guess who took the padding off of. Minoru withstands a few hits with the tenacity he’s become known for, before Kai D. Oh makes his presence felt again in the form of LIFTING ALEX PIERCE OFF THE GROUND. D. Oh delivers a textbook belly to back suplex that just so happens to also hit Ollie Linkoln. The Manic Marvel shows his strength, managing to hold up the bulk of both men for a moment before Tanahashi comes running up Pierces body! The crowd gets their high spot as Minoru takes Ollie out with an Enziguri while he walks over Pierce's face! Pierce lands on Kai and Ollie fails to hold up all three men resulting in yet another high speed freeway explosion of human beings.
Helena Handbasket: THAT WAS AWESOME! THAT WAS AWESOME!
Bellamy Parteabon: This is what I have to work with. That move was inventive but it in’t going to win this match. Someone tell these high risk fellows that breaking yourself on the enemy rarely works. Pyrrhic victories aren’t celebrated after all.
Leah see’s this as her chance to actually get a head in this match and pulls a table out from under the ring. Instead of sliding it under the ropes, she lifts it awkwardly with her onto the ringpost. It’s a hard juggle but with AJ watching the birds outside and the wreckage on the inside of the ring there isn’t anyone there to stop her. The War Queen finally gets the table up and the camera catches the madness in her eyes. With a mighty war cry the Queen puts the table in front of her and leaps from the turnbuckle! Only Minoru and Ollie are spared the pain, Mino having been on top of the pile and able to roll away, and Ollie not completely crushed under Pierce and Kai alo able to drag himself from impending Aguero based doom. The table breaks on Kai D. Oh and Alex Pierce, leaving both men AND the War Queen in yet another heap. Mino is smirking, he starts climbing up the turnbuckle and toward the ropes suspended above the ring. Obviously going for the key, but a recovered AJ stops him with Ollie’s trashcan to the face! Tanahashi falls and AJ just starts going for broke, howling out his rage as the can makes sickening thuds against Tanahashi back!
Helena Handbasket: Well I did say that Aqua was probably the crazy one, and it seems like she missed your ermon about not doing dumb things.
Bellamy Parteabon: AJ is using the weapon correctly. You’re supposed to hit the opponent with it. Not yourself. I think he stands a chance at winning if only because he seems to know this fundamental truth.
Helena Handbasket: Hey, what Pop Star Xena did was freaking amazing. That’s going on her career highlights that’s for defo. As AJ is laying into Minoru’s back with the trash can lid, He stands and poses for the crowd over Minoru, who is holding his back on the ground, in excruciating amounts of pain, unbeknownst to him Ollie is back on his feet and notices something he can use to his advantage, a bit of the table is broken in such a way he could use it as a launching ramp to take out AJ, which is exactly what he goes for, running and jumping off the bit of the table, only for AJ to see him coming and absolutely destroy Ollie with a trash can lid being wrapped around his head. Ollie goes down and AJ is the only guy left standing at this point, and he starts climbing up the structure to reach the ropes, AJ is slowly shuffling across the rope towards the Skeleton Key when out of nowhere, Kai D. Oh launches himself at AJ and cuts him in half with a massive Thunder Bagua (spear) that sends them both crashing down onto the cluster of people who have just started to get back to their feet again.
Helena Handbasket: Welp, people have started to go for the key, guess you’re happy about that and nobodies busted open yet so I’m still enjoying things.
Bellamy Parteabon: It’s still anyone’s match, but I still AJ and Kai have the general gist of hit the other person really hard while not murdering yourself in the process. Which puts them ahead of the game.
Helena Handbasket: I dunno, Sudoku Tinahashbrowns was doing some good leg work for awhile. Dude just seems to pop back, so does the Raccoon Enthusiast.
AJ is again counting the birbs buzzing around his head on the mat. Leah had moved to the corner to catch a breather after her table stunt and now seemed like the most rested person in the match. She slips out of the ring, digs underneath for another weapon and comes back with a crowbar. Kai D. Oh has taken his chance and started his own treacherous climb, only to be batted down by a crowbar to the junk! Kai comes crashing down, squeaking in falsetto. Leah starts toward the ropes to make her own climb, only to have her feet taken out from under her by Alex! Alex kicks the crowbar away and picks Leah up, throwing her outside of the ring. The Fire Fist Ace hulks Kai’s bulk onto his shoulders and also tosses him over the top rope. Alex then tests his own strength and grabs Minoru and Linkoln by the hair, shouldering them up for the big drop! Mino and Ollie hang on however, like Lamprey Eels! They have both wrapped their arms around Alex’s neck and are dangling feet first over the rope.
Bellamy Parteabon: You’d think Mr. Pierce thinks this is a battle royal with how he’s acting. Go for the key you hamfisted lunk!
Helena Handbasket: You mean it’s not? Color me shocked. I’ll just be over sympathy wincing for the Kungfu dude’s junk. Fffaaakkk me that looked like it hurt.
Bellamy Parteabon: No DQ, it’s all perfectly legal and it’s a smart way to keep him out of the competition. If he can’t walk, he can’t climb. I’m adding Leah back on the “has a chance to win this” list.
There’s an oooing and aaahhhing going on in the crowd that is revealed to be the appearance of Ollie’s pet Racoon, Rocky! Rocky launches himself onto Alex’s face, and Alex immediately lets go of the two men who grip onto the ropes and slide back into the ring, all the while Alex contends with the wayward raccoon trying to make a snack out of his nose! Mino and Ollie do share a quick laugh and a high five before Ollie rushes to the aid of his pet!
Minoru looks at the people starting to group together on the floor then he looks back over towards the Skeleton Key, then back towards the grouping of people, then out towards the crowd and taunts for them, before shuffling towards the scaffolding thats holding the ropes together, and looks down at the people that are all back on their feet and leaps, connecting with the group on the floor with a MASSIVE Osake Bomb (Swanton Bomb), wiping out everyone on the floor… leaving them all out on the floor.
The camera pans from the absolute carnage on the floor to the ring, where we can see one man… AJ Jenkynx. He slowly gets to his feet and realises that everyone is taken out, Rocky attempts to make a save but AJ cruelly punts him out of the way, leaving Ollie rolling toward his pet rather than attempting to get up. The way is clear and AJ doesn’t waste his time fucking around about it. Dude is up on the turnbuckle and shuffling down the ropes, some of the other competitors are rolling around, groaning and trying to pull themselves up but the damage everyone has taken here is starting to show. Ultimately AJ gets to the key and manages to unhook it, just as Kai D. Oh is getting to his feet. AJ smirks and launches himself down onto the big man! When that crash happens, AJ even on his back now plants one foot firmly down on the mat, Skeleton key clutched in his hand! Then he raises it into the air as the official declares the match over!
The cameras start up backstage where we can see Audrey Abrams running up to our new XIX partial owner, Kasey Kash. Audrey Abrams: Kasey, Kasey! A moment of your time? Kash turns around and smirks. Kasey Kash: Of course, anything for you. Audrey Adams: Excellent, so, you touched on this briefly when you announced you where the new "face of OATH", but what's in store for OATH with you at the forefront? Kasey Kash: Simple, look. I just want to help guide OATH into the future with the best competition, the best match ups, and of course, the most must see GM and Commissioner in all of wrestling today. Kasey looks off to the side and smirks Audrey Adams: And who might that be? Kash looks back at Audrey and the smirk has disappeared. Kasey Kash: You know who I'm talking about. You know what? You can fuck right off. I was keen to do this interview but now, I just realized that I got a show to run. Kasey walks off and Audrey looks back to the camera man and shrugs, as the cameras fade to ringside.
The lights in the arena went black and stayed out for a good ten seconds until "Faith" by Ghost began playing. The gold lights started flashing to the beat of the song as smoke began rising up from the ramp. As the first verse began, Matt Shields stepped out and looked at the crowd. Shields pointed the kendo stick down at the ring as several large bursts of fire shot up on either side of him. He stalked down to the ring, carrying his kendo stick in his right hand, dragging it along the ramp behind him, while he had a balloon in his left hand. As he reached the bottom of the ramp, he let the balloon go, flying off into the rafters. He then went to the steps and slowly climbed them. He stopped as he got to the ring apron, went to the middle of the ropes, turned towards the crowd and pointed the kendo stick out at them before he wiped his feet and stepped inside. He went to the middle of the ring, hit the mat with the kendo stick and all the lights went out for a few seconds as the lyrics repeated.
I am all eyes
I am all ears
I am the wall
And I’m watching you fall
Because faith is mine!
As the bridge hit, the lights all came back on with an almost blinding burst as Shields stood with his arms outstretched in the middle of the ring. He handed off his kendo stick, Knightmare King mask, and ring jacket over to a production assistant before he turned towards his opposition.
World Title Match: Locke Helms Vs Matt Shields
Locke Helms is already in the ring as the Champion enters. Shields take a bit of time with his entrance, and once he’s finally in the ring Shields seems to both love and hate his belt. He stares at it as he lifts it off his shoulder and then seems to just throw it at the ref with an angry growl. Shields start pacing around, running his hands through his hair ever eager to start the battle. Helms for his part, stays in his corner cool and calm not letting Shields emotional displays get to him. Helms cracks his neck and knuckles, seeming to just take his time coming out of his corner, the exact opposite of Shields wild twitchy pacing, everything he does is slow and collected just to piss Shield off. It’s totally worked, because Shields rushes him with a super quick European uppercut and before Locke has a chance to recover Matt’s breaking out the Dragon Suplex! Shields leans straight into that advantage with Majo no toki (Fireman's Carry Neckbreaker)! Then a cover! One! Two-No! Kickout! The look on Locke Helms face is one of a man who cannot believe that just happened!
Bellamy Parteabon: That was almost one of the quickest matches in Oath history!
Helena Handbasket: Hell Yeah! It seems like Spooktacula still can’t hear Blanche and that makes him touchy.
Bellamy Parteabon: Shields’ fucking crazy to begin with, I wouldn’t want to deal with touchy on top of that. I do not envy Locke Helms here.
Helena Handbasket: Chairman Killjoy loves it, there’s a reason dude kicked out, even after that ambush.
Bellamy Parteabon: Locke is damned hard to put down, that's the thing that isn’t up for debate.
This was enough to get Helms on the ball! The Chairman of Chaos didn’t persay *want* the World Title, but he also damn sure didn’t want the Knightmare King to keep it. Locke Helms being a complex sort like that, and he knew he needed to pick up his pace. Helms tackled Shields from out of the corner and started a holy hellfire’s rain of elbow’s into the Champion's skull. He drags Shields to his feet, even as the Champion struggles and drops the Nightmare King with a tiger driver of his own! As if not to be out done, Locke rolls to his feet first and Exploder Suplexes Shields right across the ring. Then Helms races after and boots him across the chin as Shields tries to get up. The Champion groans and flops over like a fish that’s discovered it does not indeed have legs allowing Locke to drag him out of the corner. Locke starts with this usual breakdown of his opponent, going for stomps on whatever of Matt’s joints he can get. Shields does his best to roll around and block, but Locke kicks him in the gut when he tries that. Finally, Helms pulls Shields up and we get a goddamn snake quick "Pulse Check" (Running knee lift followed by a Falling Neckbreaker). A cover by Locke Helms! One! One point Five! KICKEOUT!!
Bellamy Parteabon: I think Helms took that surprise cover by Shields a little too personally. It certainly helped the Chairman’s offense.
Helena Handbasket: You mean he took offense to it?”
Bellamy Parteabon: Let me be wordy. Anyway Locke is back up to his A game clearly and I get the feeling we’re going to be seeing these two spooky titan’s clashing hard over the title here tonight.”
Helena Handbasket: No doubt, if I don’t choke from the sheer macho-mad-boy of it all I’ll probably enjoy the match.
The events in the ring had turned into a stand up brawl now, Shields and Helms wrestling for control but seem to be mostly evenly matched. Shield’s is throwing basically haymakers but Ref’s got those Stevie Wonder eyes yo. Helms is retaliating with hard kicks, finally catching Shields in a hold and belly to belly suplexing him across the ring. Shields crashed hard and still rolled to his feet and tackled Locke Helms off his own feet. Shields set about introducing his knees to the inside of Helms ribcage, holding the big man in a headlock so he can’t get away. Helms was trying to fight out of it, until the Ref intervened and started the count. Shields waited until the Official got to four before he let Locke out of the hold. It was clear that Shields was going to everything he could to keep Blanche with him. Which suited Helms just fine, as the Ref was walking away the Chairman of Chaos stuck a thumb right in the Champion's eye and grabbed him around the neck to toss him over the ropes. Shields hit the ground and ducks under the ring apron. The Ref gets to a four count, with Helms next to him lounging on the ropes when Shields comes back in the ring with a Kendo stick and cracks Helms so hard that he flops clear out of the ring. The Official instantly calls for the bell.
Helena Handbasket: “Is this a no DQ match?”
Bellamy Parteabon: “I don’t think so, it looks as if the Official has called for the bell. Shame, but at least you’re spared the march of the spooks.”
Helena Handbasket: “No shit-Wait...Is that New OATH owner and GM Kasey Kash’s Music?”
RUN THEM JEWELS FAST, RUN THEM, RUN THEM JEWELS FAST
RUN THEM, RUN THEM, R-RUN THEM, R-RUN THEM, RUN THEM, FUCK THE SLO MO
Kasey Kash comes swaggering down the entrance mic in hand. He stops halfway smirking and signaling to cut his music even as he raises the mic to his mouth.
Kasey Kash: Nah, nah, nah, muthafucka. It doesn't go that way, I already told this cunt on twitter this match has no rules.
Bellamy Parteabon: Did Mr. Kash just call the match back on?
Helena Handbasket: I think so, look at Shields’ he’s totally relieved. Helms looks like he’s seen a ghost though.
Kasey turns around again, still talking even though he’s not looking at the camera.
Kasey Kash: Oh, the match is now No DQ, yo. This is gonna have a winner and I don’t wanna hear y'all bitchin later… and if that fuckin ref fucks up in MY ring again, I’ll send you back to reffing matches on the indies for a hotdog and a handshake, you fuckin mark.
Bellamy Parteabon: You heard the boss, the match is back on and is now completely No DQ. I am for one am excited to have these two kings of hardcore let off their leashes. Bring on the blood boys! It makes for an excellent show!
Helena Handbasket: Oh good, cripes this is gonna get gory. I’ll live, but I ain’t gonna like it.
Even as Kasey’s music was still playing him out, the camera’s excitedly panned back to the ring just in time enough to catch Shields absolutely wailing on Helms with that kendo stick. Shields is hammering on Locke so hard that the kendo stick snaps. Helms looks like he’s weathering the storm well except for the darkening bruises across his skin. Shields look insane at this moment, his dreadlocked hair frizzing and sticking up wildly. There’s a deranged look in Matt Shields eyes, as he huffs and growls. Locke doesn’t look bothered by it, in fact the leader of Hell Realm looks bored, as he takes a runner at Shields only to intentionally drop out of the ring. Locke starts digging under the ring for his own weapon, coming up with a bundle of light tubes. Which Locke immediately starts to throw into the ring one to one, the first tube lands and sends the Official scuttling. It explodes all over Shields who howls amidst all the broken glass, parts of his face and shoulders now bearing small cuts. Helms dives back into the ring and smashes another light tube over Matt who just snarls at him. This time Shields eats a light tube to the head and shoulders as he lunges at Helms and knocks him right out of the ring. Locke lands on what was left of his light tube stack and is now cut open all on his own.
Bellamy Parteabon: Hah, this just keeps getting better and better! Go Shields, knock that pretender out! Blanche’ll forgive you soon, I’m sure.
Helena Handbasket: Yup, it got gory right quick didn’t it? Don’t get me wrong I love the Blanche gimmick, it’s genius that whole hashtag and all. But dude is cracked, like straight cracked and if he doesn’t win I wanna be already out of the building.
The pair rolled until Helms dragged Shields to his feet and slammed his head into the ring railing. Locke rubbed salt in Shields wounds by banging his head into the railing several times, before lifting him up to gutwrench powerbomb Shields into it. Matt had no choice but to land back first into all that unforgiving steel. It didn’t stop Blanche’s Madman though, as he lanced out with his feet and punted Helms right in the balls. Since this was an anything goes match Locke couldn’t do anything other than flop to the floor. Shields pulls a steel chair out from under the ring and starts thrashing Locke hard. This is where the Champion is gonna wish that the fight wasn’t a no DQ one, because Monstro and Ryan Terror of Hell Realm make their presence known by jumping Shields from behind. Monstro wrapped his massive arms around Shields and held him still, while Ryan Terror belted the Champion in the stomach and ribs. Shields flailed around, his feet off the ground as the leader of Hell Realm got to his feet. Locke dusted himself off and pointed up the ramp, where Monstro and Ryan Terror began dragging the kicking literally screaming Champion.
Bellamy Parteabon: Where the hell is Locke Helms taking the Champion, a sacrifice pit? Hey. Idiot, we want to see the show! Don’t give the camera guys a workout when you already have center stage.
Helena Handbasket: Vodivilian advice aside, I’d rather Captain Screamo take the Great Emo out back if he’s gonna do him like they did Old Yeller. Besides, he wouldn’t be winning at all if the Brute Squad didn’t make the save.
Bellamy Parteabon: I will say it’s unfortunate that Helms needs to resort to help, but. Speak for yourself, this is something I and most likely the rest of the crowd want to see!
Helms follows Monstro and Terror as they continue to drag Shields up the ramp, he’s yelling and heckling the crowd telling them that he’s just taking out the trash. They should thank him, he’s making the company as a whole better. The crowd really has no one to root for in this match, but they have for the time decided Shields insane antics are at least entertaining enough to get behind rather than Helms dry droll humor. Once they get up to the bull position Shields manages to flail enough to nail Monstro in the balls this time too. Matt drops and nails the big guy in the dick again for good measure, before racing over and prying a fire extinguisher off the wall. The Champion cracks Terror in the head with the big red cylinder to save himself, he unhooks the hose and sprays down Helms with the thing. This blinds the unsuspecting Chairman of Chaos, to which Shields follows up with a Greetings From Crystal Lake (Air Raid Crash)! Shields instinctively hooks Helms leg and goes for the cover!
Bellamy Parteabon: I know wrestling instinct is a thing, but is this match Falls Count Anywhere as well?
Helena Handbasket: I dunno, but I think the Ref is counting? I don’t blame him, he got told that he’s gonna lose his job if Kasey Kash has to come back out here.
Bellamy Parteabon: Hell, WE might lose our jobs if he comes back out here.
Indeed the Official is counting, as he seems to think this fits in the stipulations now. Shields manages to pull out a deep two count with the quick thinking but Locke kicks out after all! As Locke throws the shoulder up, Shields instantly gets back on the offensive, not wanting to give the challenger any room to breathe, he hits Locke with a nasty European Uppercut which sends him stumbling further backstage, with Matt following behind, not wanting to let the challenger get any sort of break, continues the aggression. Helms manages to get himself free enough to go for a wild strike, but Shields is able to see it coming and catch him, trap the arm and plant him with an Arm trapped Belly to Back Suplex on the floor!
Helms is growling with an obvious frustration by now, but seemingly plays possum refuting to get off the floor and nailing Shields in the face with a big boot when he tries to close back in. With Locke back up, the chairman of chaos grabs one of the ringside bannisters and just starts laying into Shields with it. The two stumble after each other behind the curtains and the camera follows, with Lock’s expression accurately portraying the madness of the man. Shields get enough distance to pick up one of the steel chairs stacked backstage and just turns yeeting at Helms! Hems swats it away with the banister but it gives Shields enough time to follow with a spear! Tackling Helms to the ground and laying into him with mounted punches! As Shields is continuing to lay into Helms with the Ground and Pound, the referee is making sure that Locke is still in the contest, Shields is looking more and more wild with each strike that lands on Helms, eventually even Shields realises that these strikes aren’t going to finish the match, so he stands up and looks around to try and find something he can use to inflict more damage and look to finish this match. The chairs he threw at Helms are scattered around them, but he’s looking for that one last… final blow. As he’s looking around he realises that Helms has vanished from underneath him.
Locke Helms has headed back toward the ring as noted to the T.V. audience by the commentators. Meanwhile Shields has gone further into the back, one lone crazy ass camera brave enough to follow the Knightmare King on his journey. Helms makes it back to the ring, after ordering the rest of Hell Realm to follow Shields, when the camera cuts back to Matt's perspective it shows the Madman coming out of his dressing room, weapon in hand. Shields raises the modified Kendo Stick in the air, it’s covered in barbed wire and has nails sticking out every which way, what look like a few razor blades scattered around the hilt. The camera cuts back to Locke looking shocked and then pans to see what Helms is so shocked about, it’s Shields emerging from the back, no Hell Realm in sight! There’s bits of new blood on his kendo stick. Shields holds it high and exclaims “EXCALIGORE!” The Knightmare King races into the ring! Helms is there to meet him with wild hay makers but it seems all for not! Shields begins lighting up the other man’s back with sharp pointed swings, finally when Helms pitches backwards to get away, Shields cracks him right in the chin! Shields jumps after the fallen Helms and instead of hooking his legs the madman presses the Excaligore to Helms chest and puts all his weight on it. The Referee rushes in to count!
One!
Two!
THREE!!
Ding Ding Ding!
CRYBABY: HERE’S YOUR WINNER AND STILL OATH WORLD CHAMPION, THE KNIGHTMARE KING MATT SHIELDS!
The official hands Shields his title and quickly backs away, who knows what the man is gonna start doing. The Ref suspects humping it.
He would scream with joy, hold Blanche high up in the air and start singing to her "Wise men say, Only fools rush in, But I can't help falling in love with you" as he starts dancing around, then suddenly stops and Shields suddenly stops dancing, lowers "Blanche" down, and looks at her as he starts screaming
Shields: WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME!? I FIXED IT ALL. THE OLD MAN IS GONE, HIS PUPPET WAS BEATEN, THE USURPER WAS BEATEN! What else can I do? There has to be someone else, it's either that or like so many of the others you're... no no no. Who else do I have to beat?
The camera again cuts to the gorilla position backstage where we see recent Skeleton Key Winner AJ Jenkynx, still holding his prize in his ring gear. The audience starts to cheer and at first AJ seems excited at this prospect, and it’s a moment later we see what the crowd is popping for when FM Young steps into frame. The Tiger shoulders Jenkynx on her way out of the gorilla position looking startled to see him there. Jenkynx gives her a sideways look and Young steps back, making a gesture as if to let him go first.
Jekynx nods, with a smile his aggression seemingly derailed. Just as he gets to the curtain however, Helix by Amaranthe hits the speakers and the crowd really starts going. Jekynx snarls loudly scowling, as FM shrugs we hear her say “I didn’t tell them to do that.” The Tiger however does step out from behind the curtain to face Shields who stares at her, but a beat behind is AJ, holding up his skeleton key and glaring daggers at FM as the cameras fade to black.
Results:
• AJ Jenkynx became holder of the Skeleton Key
• Matt Shields def. Locke Helms to retain World Championship.